To the boy I loved

To the boy I loved,

When I first met you, I didn't think much of you.

In my eyes for a long time you were mean and horrible,

Someone I'd never love.

But slowly, without me even noticing,

I was suddenly head over heels for you.

I miss you

The way you used to flip your hair when it was in your face,

Or how you'd tussle it back into the perfect 

Mess if someone had played with it.

I miss the way you used to listen to whatever I had to say

No matter how dumb it was.

You'd only leave me feeling stupid if I was being an idiot.

I miss the way you could call me out for my actions

Even if I already knew I was in the wrong.

I miss the way you used to tease me. Like when you said,

"You loved it" in regards to a hug you gave me,

Despite the fact, I told you I did not.

It was a lie.

Of course, I wanted that hug.

Your arms, despite being twigs, were the warmest, safest and

most comforting arms, I could ever want to be in.

I miss playing games with you. 

Like that time in Minecraft with the shared fort that got invaded.

I miss going to the movies with friends and how the 

Blanket you brought smelt so strongly of washing powder.

I miss our talks.

Where we'd talk about anything and everything.

I'm glad you didn't leave when you said you would.

Even if I couldn't tell you I was the

One who wanted you to stay the most

Because I was the girl who liked you.

I wish I'd told you.

I wish I'd never told a soul about how I felt for you

I never would have had to put up with the teasing

Or the lies which lead to my own heartbreak.

Sometimes, I wonder what it would have been like

If I'd never had these feelings.

But then I remember, how you helped

shape me into the person I am today.

How could I not have loved you for that?

So, to the boy with messy hair and golden eyes that sparkled in the sunlight

Thankyou.

For letting me love you.