"And the prince rescued her from the dragon, taking her back to her castle, & they lived happily ever after." I finished the book to see Lottie asleep & Bronte dozing off. 
                              "Mommy?" Kota asked me as I tucked her in. 
                              "Yeah baby?" I smiled, kissing her forehead. 
                              "Why hasn't daddy come home?"
                              I sighed & gave her a sad smile. I knew this question was coming one day. 
                              "Because daddy can't. He's got to be somewhere for a few more months before he can come home to us baby."
                              "So he won't be here for my daddy daughter dance?"
                              I sighed and looked at my daughters disappointed face. 
                              "I'm sorry babe, not this year." I mumbled, rubbing her hair back. 
                              She nodded and I smiled down at her. 
                              "I can dress as daddy if you want?" I grinned, practising my Irish accent. 
                              She smiled and I sighed,
"Maybe you can ask grandpa to take you? I'm sure he'd love to."
                              "I'll ask grandpa then. Mommy?"
                              "Yeah baby?"
                              "Does daddy still love us?"
                              My eyes watered & I smiled at her. 
"You know, before he went away, he said to me that you girls are his world & he loved you more than anything. He said, when you tuck them in, give them two kisses so they know ones from me, keeping their nightmares away."
                              She smiled & I kissed her cheek. 
                              "Daddy loves you so so much Kota."
                              She nodded and I smiled. 
                              "Mommy loves you lots too. Have the best sleep ever honey."
                              She closed her eyes and I smiled, kissing them all again & then I left their room. 
                              I took a breath & wiped my face, walking into the shower. 
                              I got under the hot water & sighed. 
                              What an absolute shit show. 
                              I washed my hair & shaved everywhere, then got out. 
                              I got in our bed & looked to Chibs' side. 
                              I sighed & put my hand over it. 
                              "Hi baby."
                              I closed my eyes & drifted off to sleep.
                              9 more months. 
                                      
                                          
                                   
                                              
                                           
                                               
                                                  