The Snake In the Mask
It's 7 o'clock in the morning reading my favourite book while people are staring through my soul. You called my name and showed those pearly white teeth of yours. My blood starts to simmer through my veins as you waved at me.
I remember every day you come to me and ask if I am okay cause I know you notice the sadness in my eyes. You know how tormented I was during those days; How miserable I am; How melancholy I was. You're not numb like the others; You understand my pain. You were always there when I needed someone. I was lucky; I have a friend who still believes in me—a friend who never left me, especially on my downfall days. I was thankful that I have a friend like you. We always had each other's back. I always admired how strong you are despite all the conflicts you've been through, how people think of you, and it doesn't bother you at all. You don't know how envious I was, and I wish I can be as strong and confident as you are.
Until the day I saw those people looking at me from head to toe as I walked through the hallways as if there's something wrong with me. I don't know if it's just me or they're criticizing every move I made. Their eyes are like lasers that can burn through my skin. I want to know what is happening inside their thick skull. Until I noticed the skeleton I hid in the closet suddenly escaped from its prison. I don't know how people knew it until I saw you laughing with your friends. They look at me in disgust like I have some contagious diseases. And then I realized it was you who exposed me because you are the only one who knew all about me, all of my flaws and my mistakes. All the memories that I desperately want to throw away.
I never thought that you're the person standing behind me— silently biting on my shoulder using your poisonous fangs. I remember you said you'd be there for me, but all those honey-coated words that came from your mouth was just venom after all, and I regret trusting you that easily. I thought we're on the same page, but it turns out it's just a façade.
I finally knew those genuine smiles of yours are just a mask to conceal those scales on your face. Those tears that I shed are just laughing stock to you— all those secrets that I told you were just an anecdote that you can tell to others— all this time, the sympathy you gave me was just an act after all. My trust slowly withered like autumn leaves and never came back where it was supposed to be. You were my confidant, but you took my faith and tore it apart like a piece of paper.
Now, you're standing in front of me wearing that mask again and have the audacity to ask that question again. My chest suddenly burdened, and no words escaped from my mouth. I feel nothing but wrath and resentment. You don't know how I desperately want to take that mask off and rip it into pieces, but instead, I make my own mask and play it along because I don't want to start another bomb. I want to pretend it doesn't bother me but to be honest; it's tearing me apart.
–And I hope my pain will give you satisfaction
