Dean Winchester One Shots

Define Love

"It's more than being in love"

"There's more than just being in love?" Dean seemed perplexed, though nevertheless intrigued. This wasn't the first time they'd talked about love. They'd had talks in the past about love and the meaning of it all. How each defined love and if either had experienced it.

"So much more. I mean I guess by definition it is being in love but the way I feel, I can't just call it being in love. It's so much stronger than that. The word love doesn't suffice, doesn't do my feelings justice."

"Sounds painful...was it?"

"It was...and it is, in an unavoidable way. It's like I want it to stop, but I don't want the feelings to go away?"

"You still love him?"

"I always will. It's not something that just goes away, Dean."

"Then why aren't you with him. Why are you still in the life?"

"It's complicated." It always was.

"He didn't know?"

"He didn't know... didn't know I love him, didn't know he was in love."

"You could tell?"

"Yes, Dean... well, sort of. Loving someone isn't really something someone can hide. Not really. I mean they can try. Chalk it up to caring about then as a friend or just being a kind person but there's only so much, only so far, a friend would go for your favourite drink or — or remember a stupid comment you made ages ago, or play your favourite song 'by accident' so you can watch them dance in the passenger seat while they sing wholeheartedly even if you hate the song. If you're in love you do those things. That's how you tell or at least guess."

"I do those things for you."

There was a pause as he looked at her with a scared expression of realization on his face. He blinked and swallowed. She looked at him with a knowing look and then got up and continued making her bed breaking eye contact.

"Well, that's just what I define as love Dean. It's not the same for everyone."

"Right. Cause I'm not in love with you right? We're friends I'd die for you but that's the job right?...right Y/N?"

"That's right Dean." She was hardly hiding the smirk on her face.

"I'm not in love with you am I?" He most certainly was and knew it, though he'd kept it to himself for the longest time until his attentive brother spotted a few things out of the ordinary. After a short talk, Dean came to terms with it and Sam promised not to say a word of it to Y/N or Dean for that matter. Dean made his brother swear not to mention it — ever. He'd still denied his feelings, mostly so that it wouldn't hurt as badly knowing she loved someone else. He went about his life as he always had.

"You tell me." she was chuckling. "Dean, really, just forget about this whole conversation. It's just blabber, you know that, nothing important. I was thinking out loud."

"Okay... what was his name? The guy you loved I mean."

"Right, like I'd tell you his name. And Dean, you don't have to talk about him like he's in the past. He's still alive and well and I talk to him on a regular basis."

"Wait so he's alive and you talk — Y/N why aren't you with him. What the hell! Why don't you get out of the life, go be happy."

"Like I said. It's complicated."

"Why don't you tell him you love him. Someone like you Y/N, he's bound to love you back and I mean you already said he does."

"Dean really. I'm happy just knowing he's okay."