saudade. (ₛ.ₕᵢₜₒₛₕᵢ)

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

                                    '𝑰𝒔𝒏'𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒚 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒚 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒊𝒆 𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒂 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒈𝒆'

Shinso was tired.
Tired of school.
Tired of people looking down on him.
He was tired. Tired of everything.

He wanted it to end . The bullying  was getting worse everyday and there was nothing he could do about it . Oh how he wanted it all to end .

Shinso Hitoshi wanted to die. 

He was walking home alone from school all bruised up and beaten. He couldn't take it anymore. He felt mad at himself for not being able to anything . For not being able to fight back . 

And that's when he decided that he was gonna do it . He didn't care about anything. Just himself. He didn't care about his mother waiting at home for him or his dad when he comes back from his business trip. 

Slowly he climbed the bridge and looked down . Drowning isn't a painful way to die right? He still had his schoolbag and uniform on but who cared because he certainly didn't. Taking deep breaths he let his mind wander off to girl he saw today. Well it was more of a glimpse of her but he had seen her.  Huh? Why was he remembering her now? 

'So this is it, huh?' he thought to himself .

'Are you really going to do it?'

W-who the hell did Shinso just hear?
Was he going crazy?
He looked back to see the girl he had been thinking about just a few moments ago.

'Wh-what are you doing here?!!'

'Nothing really'.

'So why are you here?'

'Just wanted to see what you are doing'

'HUH?!!'

Shinso couldn't believe this girl! She had been FOLLOWING him!!

'Why were you following me?'

' I wasn't following you'

'So why are you here?!'

'I was walking back home and also i saw you at school and you used to seem lonely and I used to keep  seeing you between classes and I wanted to make friends with you because you seemed cool and I saw you climbing the bridge and I thought oh no-ohno-ohno and well I came to talk you into coming  back down because...'

'Because?'
'Because I care'

'You do??!!'
Shinso was shook. Why did someone he barely know care about him?

'Stop lying, you'll leave me like the others'

'I won't'

'You will'

The girl sighed 'Well why don't you come down and then we can argue'

'Shut-up'

The girl didn't say anything but instead started taking off her shoes.

'The hell are you doing?!!'

'Um, climbing on the bridge'

'WHY?!'

'Because..if you jump while we are talking then I can't really save you in time but if I am on the bridge with you then I can jump after you and save you'

'Wh-why do you want to save me'

'Like I said before'

'You're supposed to have a better reason'

'Come down first and I'll tell you the reason'

'No first tell me'

'Listen..you literally bigger than me and if you jump I might not be able to save you. So please...please come down.'

'....'
Shinso started questioning himself. Wasn't this what he wanted . To die. So he doesn't have to feel the pain anymore. So the bullies can feel guilty their entire lives. But he knew somewhere deep down he wanted someone to save him. To tell him that they cared. Or maybe even give him a reason to live. But that was ridiculous and would never happen.
But before he could control himself he started climbing down . 

'Yay! You came down' the girl cheered .

'Sh-shutup' Shinso could feel himself blush.

The girl extended a hand, 'The name is L/n, L/n Y/n '

'Was that a James Bond reference?'

'Yes now shut up.'

'Don't you want to know my name?'

'No i already do'.

'You do?'

'Yes. Yes I do Shinso Hitoshi'.

'How?'

'I heard some kids in class taking about you the other day'

'Oh' Shinso didn't feel nice all of a sudden.

'So can we go home?' L/n asked.

'Yeah you can go'

'No. I'm walking you home'

'Why?'
'You ask a lot of questions Shinso'
'Just tell me'
'Well its because I wanna make sure you don't try to kill yourself again.'

Shinso couldn't believe what he just heard. Did this girl really care about him?

'No, I'm fine'

'No you're not and pleaseee'

'Fine let's go'.

The walk to Shinso's house was quiet but it was a nice quiet. 

'Here this is my house'
'Oh..ok! And um remember I am walking to school with you tomorrow.'
'Why?'
'Because we're friends!' L/n sounded excited as she said that.

'We are?'
'Yes!'

'Think whatever you want to' Shinso said as he stared walking into his house.
'Hey Shinso'
'What?'
'Bye~'
'Shut up' 
'You can't do that'
' I can'

L/n sighed ' Bye Shinso! See you tomorrow!'

Shinso walked inside his house without saying anything .

L/n sighed again and left for her house.

Meanwhile Shinso couldn't believe what had happened .
He made his first friend today.
And maybe a friend who actually cared.