Unedited
That night was dim. The only thing I could really remember is seeing the look on his face as he walked into our shared room. How could I forget it? It was covered in shock, and anger, but most of all pain. I would never forgive myself for causing that pain.
Seeing an unknown man in our bed. He rushed out slamming the door behind him, tears in his eyes running down his face. Before I could even try and explain myself. But then again there was nothing to explain, I messed up big time, and could never be forgiven.
I rushed to put on my clothes and chase after him.
When I made it downstairs he was already in his car ready to drive off. I ran towards his car to try and talk with him, but he drove off without giving me a second glance.
Since my car wasn't with me at the moment I had to call a taxi to bring me to Keiji's house. When I got there I pounded on the door. I got no answer. I kept trying until I knew it wouldn't open.
I tried to look in, but all I could see is Keiji sitting in the couch is face in his hands and sobbing.
All the regret and anger at myself finally washed over me. I knew he wouldn't open the door so I slid down it and sat at his doorstep for hours. Eventually leaving when it got too late.
The next day I came back with puffy eyes and flowers. I knocked for the second day and again there was no answer. I waited a little then knocked again. Hearing footsteps from inside I strained up. The door unlocked and opened revealing a red-eyed Keiji who looked tired.
He looked at me for a few seconds then slammed the door in my face. I knocked again.
"Keiji please, I'm sorry so sorry. I never meant to hurt you I swear. Please forgive me." I cried from the opposite side of the door from him.
When I got nothing I left the flowers on the doorstep and walked away. But this would not be the last time I tried.
The next day I went back to his house with more flowers. When I saw that the flowers I left yesterday were still at the front door just kicked to the side my heart ached. But that didn't stop me from knocking again.
"Keiji.... please answer the door... please." I said my voice cracking.
No matter how much I asked the door didn't open so I left the flowers there once again this time with a note.
That went on for what felt like weeks. Akaashi never opened the door but the flowers were always gone when I returned the next day.
One particular day I went to Keiji home and knocked but the door opened. My face lit up with joy until I saw an unfamiliar face. I just stared at him. He was as tall as me almost at built as me but not quite.
"Uh, can I help you." The man asked.
"Oh, uh is Keiji home?" I answered back with a question of my own.
"Yeah but he's sleeping now. He hasn't been getting good sleep so if you would leave him to rest." The man told me in an unthreatening way but still making me sick.
He was about to close the door when that oh-so familiar angelic voice spoke.
"Ryu? Who's at the door?" Keiji asked the so called Ryu guy.
"Oh did I wake you, sorry." Ryu said. I couldn't help but feel uneasy as the top interacted.
"No it's-" he paused for a moment looking at me his face hardened a little and he spoke again, with a less softer voice. "Oh it's just Koutarou. What are you doing here?" He asked more of a demand then a question.
"I just... Keiji I wanted to-"
"Don't. Just stop." He said cutting me off.
"Keiji please," I said getting on my knees and hands putting my head down. "Please just listen to me for a second." I pleaded. When he didn't close the door I took it as my chance to speak.
"Keiji please forgive me." I begged not moving from my previous position. "I am so sorry, even if you don't believe me, I truly am so very sorry. Just please give me another chance to make this right and to prove to you that I'm better than my mistakes. And that I will treat you better than before. I love you, so much. You're the love of my life and I need you, please." I couldn't handle saying all this without crying. I wept as I looked up and saw Ryu standing there his brows furrowed looking down at me.
Then I turned towards Keiji, seeing him looking off to the side and not in my eyes. He seemed to be thinking hard about something. Then he turned his head towards me.
"Bokuto..." my heart stung as he said that name. He hadn't called me that for years. It was always 'Koutarou' not 'Bokuto'
I knew somewhere in my heart that if he closed that door on my today it will never open back up again. Even if I do come back every day and every night.
"Stop." Was all I heard as he closed the door in my kneeling face. I looked at him horrified knowing that I messed it up and could never fix it again. That I was the one who caused all this drama. I was the one who cause both Keiji and me pain and suffering. And I was the one who was to suffer in the end. If only I had stayed faithful we could be at home cuddled up in bed placing lazy kissing on each other. Feeling safe in each other's warmth. But that was not what was going to happen ever again. I would no longer wake up to Keiji's sleeping face next to me.
And knowing that it's my fault that that was no longer a reality hurt me the most.
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Word count: 1031 words
Hi guys hope you liked my little angst there. I am actually pretty proud of this one :) I wasn't too sure about it at first but I like it.
