The seat vibrated ever so slightly as I drifted in and out of sleep, my mind empty and peaceful for the first time in a long time. As I seemed to be falling into actual slumber, a particularly strong shake woke me up fully. With a small grunt of surprise, I blinked repeatedly as my eyes took in the view through the small oval window my cheek was now stuck to. The clouds were like a huge blanket cushioning the plane below as it traversed the sky; the shimmering ocean thousands of feet below glistened like a million sapphires were being tossed about. 'I have to say,' I thought to myself, 'my first time on a plane sure is living up to its expectations.'
The plane shook violently and I swiftly unstuck my cheek from the window and gripped my armrests. 'Except the turbulence,' I thought shakily, 'I hate the turbulence.' The shaking continued for a few more moments and then it subsided. It was only then that all the tension I was unintentionally holding was released and my body relaxed. I unbuckled my seatbelt and shimmied past the older gentleman in the seat beside me and out into the aisle. I traipsed along into the bathroom, turned on the faucet, and splashed water on my face. Looking in the mirror, my reflection looked back at me: short curly black hair, hazel eyes, light brown skin, and pink lips. I was pretty average looking, I guess. My right cheek had a red mark from where it had been stuck to the window but other than that, I looked alright. But my looks didn't concern me right now, they never did.
I was just so elated to actually be doing this. Finally, to be on a plane to pursue higher education in a foreign country, far away from the pain and the abuse I had endured for so many years. Now they were nothing but memories of a time that will never come to pass again, (little did I know at the time how deeply my scars went and how much it would take to truly break free), but for now I was happy and that was all that mattered.
I returned to my row to find the man I was sitting next to fast asleep. I got back to my seat without disturbing him and tried to find a way to entertain myself. Naturally, of course, I went on to tik tok, scrolling my 'for you' page and laughing quietly at the antics of the people on the app. My phone made a notification sound- ding! -I tapped it and my heart skipped a beat - Dannyphantom.exe had just posted a new tik tok. I blushed as I opened it listening to him as he spoke like a 'British gentleman from the 1800s' and my heart skipped and I smiled, imagining he was talking directly to me. Sigh. Can one man be so physically perfect? His hair, his eyes, his smile...sigh...so beautiful.
'Stop it,' my inner voice said, ' you're falling for someone you don't even know and he's a guy at that. You know that's wrong right?'
"Shut up," I said, a little too loudly causing the man next to me to shift and murmur in his sleep and several passengers to glance in my direction. I lowered my head and chided myself. Sigh, just one of my daily mental battles between my social upbringing and my actual feelings. You see, where I grew up a guy liking another guy is taboo. It was so taboo that gay men were often subjected to severe physical abuse and violence if they were found out, without any help from the police, authorities, or their families. Many of them are homeless or have committed suicide and no one bats an eye. So when I started feeling this way, I tried so hard to make it stop but it never did and when I realized it wouldn't go away, I hid it, buried it deep inside, pretended it wasn't a part of me, and told no one except other guys I knew who were gay too. Despite all that, other people did find out but that's a story for later.
Danny was one of the few cases where my true feelings would come to the surface and I couldn't help it. He was just so beautiful and sexy and my mind (and my hormones) couldn't forget that. But reality would often hit me just as hard as me trying to hide my feelings- he was miles away, he was a stranger, I didn't really know him and even if I did, why would he ever want to be with a closeted, average looking dude from a third world country?
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Falling for a Stranger (DannyPhantom.exe Fanfiction: Book 1)
FanfictionA closeted young man from a Caribbean country moves to America and ends up in the same college as his online crush yet unable to come to terms with how he feels for this person, actually meeting this person and the mental scars he has from being gay...