Onika POV
August 6 2010
For two months now I've been stuck inside this movie that goes on and on
I can't seem to stop it I'm stuck with the thought that's just living rent free in my head it's not a good thought it's a bad thought something that leaves me traumatized
For these two months I've been getting revenge thinking that maybe this traumatic thing would leave my mind that it would be gone
I've gotten my revenge but still it was here and on constant replay inside my head for the first time and my life I was feeling my feelings
"Onika do you hear me talking to you" my therapist Taraji said "I-No what did you say" I asked I was to busy inside my head thinking about what I've been thinking about she laughed lightly
"I asked how have you been Onika how is Beyonce" I've been talking to Ms.Henson ever since that night that I vowed to never speak of again just thinking about it made my head and stomach turn
"Well I've been the same nothing really changed and Beyoncé she puts all her time into work" I responded shrugging
"Well tell Ms.Beyoncé she has a session with me on Monday tell her don't miss this one like the last alright" "I'll make sure to inform her about it" I laughed
"Well on our last session we left off on you telling me about that situation" she said trying to ease that subject in the conversation
"I told you already I would like to not speak on that it makes my head turn" I said "we have to speak on that onika it's when the problem started it would help you"
"That's how you feel miss Henson but you know over the years I've had my share of friends, enemies lovers, losses and triumphs with time they all begin to run together. But you will find the real moments are vibrant the rest just fades away My pain Miss Henson will fade" I said she laughed
"You know onika you are a piece of work you and Ms.Knowles are my most hardest clients one never comes and when she dose she doesn't talk and the other never likes to get into her real feelings" I shrugged feeling satisfied that she understood until she spoke again
"But in every moment a choice exists we can cling to the past or embrace the inevitability of change and allow a brighter future to unfold before us such an uncertain future may call for even more uncertain changes either way, a new day is coming whether we like it or not the question is will you control it, or will it control you?" She said "nothing control me" I stated
I hated the fact of someone or something telling me what to do... but Beyoncé that's the only person I listen too..sometimes
"Well from what I'm seeing it is you not talking about a situation is a clear example of it still having control over you" she finished off
"Hmm I never thought of it that way" I thought "That's what I'm here for now let's get this Session on the roll shall we"
Flashback
two months ago
Nickis POV
I woke up to loud crying loud baby crying and my head was hurting it was pounding so hard I could feel the throb in my ears I groaned loudly "Beyoncé shut that lil nigga up" I yelled I had a terrible headache and he was not helping being right next to me LOUD
"I'm trying I don't know what's wrong with him" she said low and I heard sniffing I decided to open my eyes an when I did she was sitting right next to me with him crying and her crying right with him that's when I felt bad for yelling at her
"I'm sorry Princess come here" I said ignoring my headache and the disgusting thought that was going through my head at that moment
She came over with him and I sat up wrapping my arms around her waist pulling her into me
