dark path

is it a right path?

After a year saint and zee were happy, doing their jobs and almost forgot about mew. Zee was better than a year ago. He wasn't scared anymore.
"P'zeeeeeeee your friend is here! Come see him!"
Zee came and didn't see anyone and looked back at saint. Saint brought his hand in front of zee and showed lizard. Zee was scared to the death and fell on the ground. Saint was laughing and couldn't stop it.
"zee you haven't seen your face !you are funny idiot"
Zee stood up and blushed
"Out saint!"
"Whyyyyy?"
"Because you are bothering me"
"Oh yeah I was going out. I have to go back to the hospital"
Saint kissed zee's cheek and zee pushed him
"Take that unknown creature away you stupid"
Saint looked at poor lizard and took it out. Zee closed the door behind saint and went to sleep abit before cooking food. He went under the cover and fell asleep. It was in the middle of the night that he felt someone's presence on the bed.
"Saint you back? I haven't cooked yet, I think I slept a......."
Zee stopped with kissing. He returned kisses back and pulling him closer, moaning during kisses.
"Ah.....saint"
He took out zee's shirt and sucked his nipple.
"Saint........it's dark....I can't.....see you"
"You never want to see me, I bet" he whispered in zee's ear. Zee's heart started beating fast, his eyes widened, that voice was familiar.
"Please, I beg you,don't hurt me please mew"
Zee begged, his hands were on the chest of that man, pushing mew slowly away while breathing hard.
"Then do whatever I order"
He kissed zee and puting his hand on zee's pants and slowly brought his hand under zee's pants, between his thighs, rubbing zee's dick and lead his finger toward zee's hole. Zee was scared and those memories were back. Mew pushed his finger inside made zee shudder.
"Please let me go" said zee controling himself to not moan.
Mew put his hand on zee's eyes and kissed his lips passionatly.
"I love you zee believe me" said mew during kisses. Zee tried to take a breath and biting his lip to not moan.
"Why are you holding your moan?you don't want me to hear it like before?"
"Please leave me alone........I won't tell anyone that you were here.....I promise"
Mew licked zee's lip, he went down licking his neck, zee couldn't move because he was scared that mew hurt him like last time. He wanted mew to finish it fast, it wasn't important for him if mew do sex again, he wanted it to pass fast. Mew was down there sucking zee's dick.
"Hmmmm you don't get hard easily by me anymore."
"Just finish it"
Mew put his both hands on zee's neck and tried to strangle him. zee was struggling, begging mew to stop.
"ZEE!!!wake up!!"
Saint was worried that zee wasn't moving, just he seemed like someone who was getting strangled. Saint went and brought glass of water and with his hand splashed it on zee's face. Zee opened his eyes, shocked,breathing hard even coughed like someone was really strangeling him. Saint held zee's face but zee pushed saint away, thought he was mew. Saint tried to hug him but zee was trying to push him away.
"Calm down zee, I'm saint.....look"
Saint held zee's face with two hands, zee was scared to look at him.
"Please zee look at me honey"
Zee brought his eyes slowly on saint, saint was smiling softly, kissed his forehead and hugged him.
"I'm sorry saint. I had nightmare, I thought it was real."
"It's ok zee. I go bring you water"
Zee nodded and laid down. He turned on his side that suddenly he saw a small piece of paper between pillows. He picked the paper and it was written (you were nice zee) ,his eyes widened and wrinkled the paper when saint came with glass of water and cake of course for himself.
"Here . You want some cakes?" Said saint while eating cake and his both cheeks were full.
"No Thanks."
"P'zeeeeeeee, smile please"
He put his both fingers on zee's cheeks to make him smile. Zee smiled but not from his heart. He was already broken, didn't know what to do to stop this nightmare. Everything he does is pointless. He can't be happy even with saint, he wanted to live with saint without any of these thoughts, he wanted to hugged saint without pushing him away. Looking at saint who was talking happily and eating cake but couldn't hear him at all. He was just thinking if he's worth it to see saint like that? To sleep next to him, eating with him,walking with him. Maybe if he disappear from saint's life, all pains would stop. Is saint really happy with him? He can't say it. Is there a good ending for them?
"P'zee, your pills. Take them"
Zee took pills and laid on his side and fell asleep. Saint hugged him from behind and kissed his shoulder.
Next morning saint was energetic like always, getting ready to go to the work. Zee was still sleeping, saint kissed his cheeks and left. After an hour zee woke up but he had no energy to move, he still felt tiredness. He had to wake up since he was so hungry and couldn't take it anymore. He saw the breakfast that saint made ready. After shower zee ate all the breakfast, suddenly his heart jumped when he heared knocking on the door. He slowly stood up to make no sounds and went to the bedroom, locked the door, went on the bed and when he wanted to pick pillow up and put it on his head, he saw a knife under it, picked up the knife and hide it. Suddenly he noticed his phone which was on the drawer, picked it up and called saint.
"Saint come back soon! Mew is here!"
When saint heard, left the hospital as fast as he could. When he arrived, he checked everywhere then opened door.
"zee!"
He threw the keys on the table and opened the room door. He saw zee was under the blanket, went and sat next to him, slowly pulled off the blanket.
"zee I'm here don't worry ok?"
Zee nodded and saint hugged him.
"I'm........not lying.....saint"
"I know. Now that I'm here nobody can hurt you. I won't let it happen"
"Sorry........that I always.....bother you"
"No no zee. Let's go out to change your mood ok?"
Zee smiled and kissed saint's cheek.
"Now get ready zee"
Zee nodded and saint went out of the room, he checked the outside from the window, he was worried about his baby, he couldn't take it when zee was scared.
"I'm ready......saint"
Saint looked back at zee, noticed zee was blushing and looking at the ground. Saint held zee's hands and smiled.
"You're so cute my zee"
That sentence made zee blush more.
"O....k let's go"
Zee picked the switch and went out fast while he was still blushed. He was feeling hot and his heart was beating fast. Saint came and sat in the car, starring at zee but zee looked away and tried to focus.
"Are you still shy?"
"No stupid"
Saint laughed and touched zee's hair.
"I want to drive let me focus you idiot"
"Ok ok boss"
Saint sat back and was looking at the lights, looking back at zee who was driving. He wanted this moment to continue till the end, this moment that zee was smiling and it was like it's just them in this world. He knew zee wasn't thinking about good things but he had to smile.
"Zee I love you, you know it right?"
Zee's smile disappeared and focused on driving. Saint smiled and closed his eyes.
"I know it saint but......I know you love me......"
"Are you thinking of leaving me?"
Zee stopped the car and went out of the car, he needed to breath for a moment. He was holding his tears for long time and he couldn't hold it anymore. He was looking at the lake under the bridge, the reflex of lights on the water attracted him. He wanted to move toward them, he wanted everything to end. He was walking to the lights, that moment saint held his hand.
"Let's jump together! That way you can't leave me alone here by myself while I'm broken because of what you did"
When zee looked at saint, he could feel anger on saint's eyes. Saint pulled zee's hand and went on the edge of the bridge.
"Come on zee, what are you waiting for?"
Zee was scared but saint forced him to come and stand next to him.
"Zee you wanted this but now you are scared? What's wrong with you?"
"I..........don't want.....it"
"Don't want to die?"
Zee nodded while his eyes was filled with tears. When saint saw his eyes, it hurted his heart. He wanted to see zee's smile again but that disappeared after what mew did. saint hugged zee and brought him down.
"Let's go zee huh?"
"......ok"
After they arrived home, zee fell asleep soon since he was mentaly tired. Saint covered him and kissed his forehead. His phone was ringing so he left the room to answer it. It was unknown number.
"Yes?"
" hi saint my old friend how are you?"
"Fuck off"
"Oh but why? We are friends, aren't we?"
"I'm not your friend anymore!you are crazy!you hurted zee!"
"Hmmm.......let's talk face to face but you shouldn't tell anyone. Zee is important to you right?I will send you the address. bye"
"Hey....wait.....fuck you bitch"
Saint was angry, he could feel his heart beat. He wanted to kill mew at that moment. He took his coat and went out to the address that mew had sent.
There was a ruined place and nobody lived there. He could only hear dogs barking. Suddenly he heard the step on the stones, looked right away.
"Hi bunny"
Saint looked at mew and mew could sense his anger toward him, he came close to saint and stood right infront of him. Saint couldn't hold himself, he pulled mew's collar roughly, seeing that calm smile on mew's face made him more angry.
"Why are you smiling?why?why did you hurt him?"
"He was my boyfriend and you.......you supposed to be my friend! But look! My friend and my boyfriend were fucking eachother behind my back! Who's the victim here saint?you?zee?"
Saint punched mew which made him fall on the ground and his ellbow got hurt because of the small stones on the ground. saint was just remembering times that zee was crying, times that zee tried to suicide. He kicked mew and sat on his lap, punched him in the face.
"You know he tried to kill himself twice! and you are showing yourself as a victim here...... you...."
Mew punched saint and rolled him on the ground and held his hands above his head, pushing and rubbing his hands on the stones, made them bleeding. Saint was struggling to free his hands but couldn't, he was breathing fast because of anger. Mew took out the knife and pushed it in saint's stomach. He was smiling while saint was struggling.
"You can't save your loved one saint. stop pretending that you're his hero"
He pushed knife more in and made saint throw up blood.
"Mew............don't.....hurt......."
Mew heard police siren, so he left saint and ran away. Saint had so much pain and bleeding, trying to stand up but he couldn't.
"Zee.....I love you.......you know....it.....right?"
Zee jumped out of his sleep and looked confuse. He noticed saint wasn't on the bed, he was feeling bad inside, his heart was beating fast.
"Saint where are you honey?"
He searched the rooms but didn't find him. He picked his phone and called saint, waiting for him to answer.
saint was about to faint that he felt his phone was ringing. He tried to take it out of his pocket.
"Saint?where are you?it's late why are you out?"
".....zee......"
"Huh?saint?"
Saint couldn't hold his eyes anymore, he could hear zee's worried voice and he hated himself for not being able to reply.
"Did I......choose a right.....path, zee? This......time....I didn't let him....kill you......could I save you zee?"