Dahilan (Silent Sanctuary Series #1)

Chapter 26

It looked like we were in a staring contest. I was still nervous kung ano ang magigising sagot niya. 

Baka mamaya... isipin niyang pinagti-tripan ko lang siya or what.

"Maniniwala ka ba kahit noong ikaw 'yung umamin... pinagdudahan lang kita?" I asked again when he just remained silent.

"Ano ulit? Makiulit nga."

I closed my eyes and sighed. I was so serious and having an anxiety here noong sasabihin ko na sa kaniya na what if gusto ko rin siya tapos 'di niya pala narinig?

"Narinig ko. Gusto ko lang marinig ulit kasi baka nabibigla ka nanaman."

"What if... I like you, too?"

"What if  lang," he smiled bitterly and looked away. 

"You misunderstood me, Pocholo!" I didn't talk until he looked at me again. "I said... pa'no kung gusto na rin pala kita? Maniniwala ka ba?"

"Lagi naman akong maniniwala sa 'yo."

Ito nanaman siya sa mga nakakabigla niyang mga salita.

"Really?" When he nodded, I collected all my confidence to utter those words that I practiced in my mind earlier.

"I like you, too, Pocholo... and I am sure about it. Kahit hindi ko alam exactly kung bakit. Ikaw naman 'yung nagsabi mismo, 'di ba? Na hindi naman lahat ng bagay ay kailangang may dahilan."

He pursed his lips. I can also see an amusement on his face.

"Joey, makinig ka sa 'kin," he came closer to me, still carrying Andrew in his arms. "Hindi naman ibig sabihin na 'pag gusto kita... dapat magustuhan mo na rin ako."

I fought his stares. Kung kanina naguguluhan at maraming tanong ang tumatakbo sa isip ko, ngayon... sigurado na 'ko. 

Siguradong sigurado na.

"No, Cholo," I looked at him, hoping that he won't think na nagustuhan ko lang siya dahil sa umamin siyang gusto niya ako.

Hindi gano'n 'yun.

"You listen to me. I like you, okay? Even before... corny and you might laugh at me, pero sa t'wing sobrang lapit mo sa 'kin... everytime you hold my hand, or even just my wrist, kahit simpleng bagay lang na gawin mo sa 'kin... there were always butterflies in my stomach and my heart was always thumping so fast." His ears turned red. "And you... you're the only one na nakapagpadama sa akin ng ganito."

He didn't talk. "Believe me or not - it doesn't mater. What matters to me ay 'yung malaman mong hindi lang ikaw 'yung nagkagugusto rito." I added.

He was about to talk to me when Andrew's head moved. I thought he will wake up pero nakatulog ulit siya noong himasin siya sa ulo ng Tito niya.

"Kailan pa?" He interrogated.

"Actually, 'di ko rin alam." I bit my lower lip as I fought with his stares. Kinakabahan ako dahil baka isipin niyang tini-trip ko lang siya. "Siguro last week or last month pa. I don't really know. Hindi ko nga rin alam kung bakit kita nagustuhan. Maybe we're different from each other pero sometimes we also share the same thoughts. I don't know! Pero... ikaw na nga ang may sabi na hindi lahat ng bagay ay kailangang may dahilan. Paulit-ulit ako rito, ha." We laughed together.

He removed his stares at me. Akala ko ay magagalit siya but my heart jumped when I saw how he hid his smile. Talo siya, nakita ko pa rin 'yung ngiti niya. 

Ang rupok naman pala ng lalaking 'to.

"Ikaw, ah. Kinakabisa mo pala 'yung mga sinasabi ko," my brows furrowed. Okay, medyo tama siya pero 'di ko naman kinakabisa!