"Dear diary..." **Cashton**

Epilogue

Calum

I looked at myself in the mirror. Black. All black. I actually always wear black, but this time was different. This time was Ashton's funeral. Everytime I thougt about Ashton I felt tears welling up. Every single time, but now was the day I could let them stream down my face.

I stepped out of my mother's car and walked through all the coffins, to Ashton's. A tear streamed down my cheeck. I quickly wiped it away. My mother squeezed my hand.

"It's okay to cry," she said.

"I know"

I saw Michael. All alone. He didn't have anyone. His parents didn't care. He lost his two best friends. He is alone. I let go of my mother's hand and made my way over to him. He stood there, wearing an old suit. He didn't hear me coming. He turned around and smoke came out of his mouth. He held a cigarette.

"Michael, don't tell me it's weed. Don't fucking tell me it's weed,' I said to him.

'Well, what do you want to hear then? That's a fucking metaphor?' Michael shot back.

'No, just let it out. Cry. Don't always be the tough guy Mikey' I grabbed the cigarette and threw it in the rain.

'I cry Ashton. I cry myself to sleep every night I'm sober.'

I knew Michael had some drink and smoke problems, but I thought he was over it...

'It's all Dan's fault. Since he was done ruining Luke's life, he wanted to ruin Ashton's life. Ruin me. We fought multiple times, but teachers or seniors always got us apart. No one won. Till one night. I fell back into drinking. I was drunk. He and a friend drove past me in their fancy porche. Looking at me, laughing at me. I couldn't resist to smash the empty whiskey bottle right through his window. So I did. Dan had never been so angry. He jumped out of the car. "What do you think you just did?" he had asked. I just sat down again, lighting up another cigarette. "Ruining your car" I told him. "Just like you're ruining mine" He came up to me. He grabbed the cigarette out of my hand and burned it out right above my eye. I jumped up and smashed him in the glass of his own car. I grabbed his hair and lifted his head only to smash back to the ground. I didn't know Dan's friend had already called a police. I didn't even hear sirens. They pulled us apart and before I knew, my hands were cuffed. They pushed me in their car. Locked me up. My parents didn't even come to pay me out. When I came home a freaking month later, they didn't talk to me. Didn't even greet me. Didn't even tell me how fucking stupid it was to smash a bottle against a window of someones freaking porsche!'

Michael started to scream.

"And when I asked them why they acted like that, my mother answered: "You weren't wished" yOU WERENT WISHED?! Well sorry you freaking made me!"

I didn't know what to say to him. It was silent for a while. Michael looked overwhelmed that he had just said that.

"Come, it's starting" I said. It wasn't even starting yet, but he walked along with me.

We took a seat somewhere in the middle, close to my mother. She squeezed my shoulder. I hadn't even noticed that I was crying again. Ten minutes later the funeral started. I saw the guitar in the back. I was playing our song. Our song that he finished. It would be a lot nicer if I could've played it with him.

"Ashton and Calum had to make a song. Calum would like to play it for you"

I stood up. Ignoring all the glares. I walked straight to the guitar and started to sing the song which reminds me way too much of my Ashton.

I know you’re gone, I know you’re gone
But I don’t feel what I know
I know you’re gone, I know you’re gone
But my mind ain’t in control
Cause it’s my heart that’s been missing you
And it’s the heart I need to listen to
And it’s been singing songs for tender dreams
But when you sang to help us sleep
And one day I will sing those songs
Sing them ‘till they sleep
Just like you sang to me
Just like you sang, sang to me

From the day that I met you I stopped feeling afraid
In your arms I feel safe
In your arms I feel safe
From the day that I met you I stopped feeling afraid
In your arms I feel safe
In your arms

I miss you so, I miss you so
And I’ll miss you ‘till i’m old
I miss you so, I miss you so
But my fears will fade, I know
‘cause it’s my heart that you helped to build
And love is my compass still yeah
Love will fill the holes I’ve got
‘cause you will never hold me
But I know that you are with me, I know that you have peace
Cause you let us sing to sleep
You let us sing your heart to sleep

And i know that you are with me
And i know that you have peace
Cause you let us sing your soul, your mind and heart to sleep

I miss you so, I miss you so
And I’ll miss you ‘till I’m old

They all stood up and applaud. At a funeral. They applaud for Ashton's song which fitted this damn situation so good. At for once again that day, I broke out in tears.

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That was it! Sorry it took me so long... :)

I love y'all so much for (still) reading this♥♥

This is the first book I got to finish and even tho my writing can suck sometimes, I'm proud:)

And if you want to, I have a Lashton story called Atrocious, it would be awesome if you checked that out:)

Once again: THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING IT:)