I Will Always Fight For You

The Life-Changing Call

At 22 years old, I never thought I would be on my knees praying to win a court battle that is going to change my entire life. As I beg for the court to grant me custody of my baby sister, who was only 15 years old. I start to think to myself  "How did my life come to this?" I had only just graduated from college and was expected to change my entire life.  Just two months ago my life seemed so perfect. But everything is different now. 

            2 MONTHS AGO:

*Ring, Ring, Ring*

I was woken up to my phone obnoxiously ringing nonstop. I finally got out of Alex's warm arms and picked up the phone. As I slowly scooted to the edge of the bed and answered the phone I sighed, annoyed that my sleep had been interrupted. 

"Hello..."

"Peyton, you have to come home now..." my sister whispered as she sobbed into the phone. 

"Maddie, ... what's wrong? What's going on?" 

"Peyt, I need you to come home there's been an accident with Mom and Dad..."

"Maddie, I live 13 hours away, if you're calling to complain about living at home call someone else."

"No, it's serious Peyton. Mom and Dad were injured. Please I need you."

As I listen to my sister's terrified voice over the phone I realize she isn't joking. My voice turns to terror  "okay Mad, I'm on my way..."

I quickly change and pack my bag. I wake Alex up and let him know I'm leaving. He's half asleep when I left. I grab my car keys and ran out of our apartment in sweatpants and a sweatshirt and start my car. I begin my 13-hour ride back home. 

When I arrived at the hospital I was so exhausted but I knew I had to find my sister. When I got to the front desk she led me to a waiting area where my siblings were. 

I hadn't seen my siblings for a year, I had stayed with Alex during the holidays. I was greeted with hugs and I spent the longest time hugging my oldest brother who was 28. I knew as soon as I hugged my big brother Sheldon that we were in for a rough time. 

We sat for another 45 minutes and I was on my 6th cup of coffee when the doctor finally came in. He had explained what had happened over the past 2 days with my parents. 

They had been in an accident with a semi-truck and when the paramedics arrived they were already in an unstable state. They were both rushed to surgery. Our dad had died in surgery that night when the damage to his lungs was too severe. My mom had been placed on a ventilator which they said was breathing for her after her intensive surgery to fix her abdominal damage.  She had a stroke during her surgery and after 12 hours on a ventilator, she has been announced as brain dead. They were officially pulling the plug, in 2 hours once we said our goodbyes.  My brother was the first to go into the room. He had been there since the accident occurred and already had a sense that our parents weren't going to make it. He wasn't an outwardly emotional person so when he walked out of the room he wiped his tears. He had to go soon after our goodbyes to get home to his own family. My sisters each had their turn, each coming out crying harder than the other. As I held them after they said their goodbyes I realized I was left to say goodbye. I stayed strong for my sisters who I knew needed me the most. My aunt came and picked my sisters up and took them home. They didn't need or want to stay for the last moments of our mother's life. I was the last to say my goodbyes and planned on staying to hold her hand until the very end. 

I stopped when I arrived at the glass doors that read ICU, I was almost scared to go in. I honestly don't know how my feet continued to move when my brain kept shouting to run and pretend this wasn't happening. But this was happening, this was real, and my feet continued to step. I sat down in the most uncomfortable hospital chair and scooted it as close to my mom's bed as possible. I grabbed her hand that was still warm and pulled it into mine I rubbed the raw skin that had scratches all over it. I took a deep breath and squeezed. 

I begin to speak but no words came out. It was just a low-croaking noise. I took another inhale and cleared my throat as the tears started to well up in my eyes. 

"Mommy... Mommy, I love you. I don't want you to go. I know you are in pain though and you shouldn't be. Mommy, I need you. I don't want you to go..." I started to cry. 

I laid my head down next to her hand and imagined her running her fingers through my hair again. 

"Mommy, we'll be okay. I'll make sure we'll be okay. It's okay, you can be with Dad. It's okay... I'll be okay... I love you, mommy, thank you for giving me the best life you could. I will always hold on to you and carry you with me.  I love you, mommy. "

As I sobbed and sobbed I slowly let go of my mom's hand. I wiped my tears and exited the room. The nurse had come to unplug my mom and I sat and held her hand as she walked me through the procedure. As I watched my mom take her last breath a tear fell. I was heartbroken but I had to be strong.  For my sisters, for my mom, for my dad, but most importantly for myself. 

As I left the hospital after filling out all the paperwork and taking my parent's belongings that they handed me in an odd plastic hospital bag I sat in my car and cried. I felt like I was crying for hours. My phone sat in my cupholder dead. As soon as I finished crying I plugged my phone in and drove home. 

My aunt had left. The house was quiet and as I checked each of my sisters who were in their bedrooms sleeping. As soon as I made it to my bedroom I hadn't seen in almost two years that remained untouched I crashed into bed and instantly sleep filled my eyes.