Thank you, Levi

Ch 1: Memories

I woke up to a pounding head, as well as a pounding and aching heart. My pillow was still wet from the amount of tears that I cried from last night too.

It was also last night that I got the news that Levi died. I didn't see it coming, and I think Levi didn't see the speeding truck coming towards him either, but I guess I couldn't see any of that coming towards me.

He's gone, present tense.

I didn't want to think about, and I didn't want to think about him. All I want is to press rewind, and go back to the previous afternoon, before he died. Back to the previous afternoon, when I should've apologized for getting so angry at him. I can't press rewind, thanks to living in such a stupid reality, but I can't move forward and forget him either.

Trying to move forward is way out of the question for me, because how can I forget someone like Levi? We were never together in the first place, but I wish we were. But, a small part of me is thankful that we weren't, otherwise I would never ever be able to forget him.

My thoughts are as jumbled as the clothes thrown all over my half of dorm. It's a stupid comparison, but at this moment in time I don't have the energy to compare the amount of things that are going through my mind. I turned my head to the left, to look at Levi's half of the dorm. Everything was still in exactly the same place he left it yesterday, but I don't know if that was because he was a neat-freak or if it's because he wasn't here... There was a thin-layer of dust gathering on some of his books, so I blame his absence.

But, I blame myself for his absence too.

If I hadn't told him to him all those things that I said last night, then he wouldn't have stormed out and got hit by a truck.

"What the fuck, Levi? Why can't you tell me what the fuck has been going on in that stupid mind of yours? Can you at least tell me why you've been keeping quiet for the past month??"

"Shut your fucking face, Jaeger! You won't understand. You will never understand the fucking hell I have been through. You're not making it any better!! Why can't you stop being such a fucking brat for once?!"

"Me?? I'm the one whose giving you a hard time?! Well guess what Levi, I'm close to not giving a single shit on the hell you've been through."

I froze, and I felt my eyes go wide. "Wait, fuck, Levi, I didn't mean to-"

"I'm going out."  And he slammed the door, and I swear I could see him crying.

Fresh tears, hot and full of regret, started to pour down my cheeks. My hands wanted to rip all the hair from my head, and I screamed I frustration.

How did I manage to get myself into this pain?

Oh yeah, it's because I loved Levi.

I loved him, but I can't love him now, can I?

~~~~

So, little me had this idea to make a super angsty Ereri fic... Heh.

This is only going to be a couple of chapters (4-5) and I've got the whole story planned for this, all I need to do is type it, but don't worry because Behind the Scenes is still a work-in-progress and I will not drop that fic.

In other words, quick-ish progress on this story, and regular updates for BtS :D Thanks noodles!!