𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐄 - 𝐝.𝐦.

𝟎𝟑𝟐 - 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐥𝐲

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y'all are gonna hate this chapter LMAOO

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I prefer studying on my own, usually.

It's just that I've never met anyone who can keep up with me. It's not that I think I'm smarter than everyone—well, I do—but the way I study requires nobody holding me back, requires a rigorous pace and a certain structure, and I usually just end up getting frustrated with other people. I guess I have found one person who can keep up with me, but it seems we're both avoiding each other.

But sometimes Pansy and Blaise convince me to study with them, so today I'm sitting near the front of the library with the two of them, our heads buried in Care of Magical Creatures textbooks while we study for the massive examine that large oaf decided to spring on us all of a sudden.

I can't seem to concentrate, though, and this time, it's not because of either Blaise or Pansy.

I've spent this last week and a half just on edge, my heart thumping just a touch too loud or a touch too fast, my chest a little tight even when I loosen my tie and unbutton my shirt, my stomach feeling nauseous like I haven't eaten in days and like I've eaten too much, the hair at the back of my neck standing up like someone is watching me. My brain is constantly replaying that night every time I blink or try to fall asleep, and the last thing I want is to relive it.

As good as it felt, the last thing I want to relive it, because then I'll have to relive all of it.

My throat tightens as I stare at the same image in my textbook, watching the black and white sketching of a Porlock graze on a field of grass. One hand grips my quill and the other my notes, and I'm supposed to be looking through them and reviewing everything, but I can't think straight.

I sleep around a lot, I won't even deny it. But these last few days, I've been going crazy; as Blaise so nicely puts it, I've been "fucking every living, breathing, walking thing with a hole and a pair of tits." Just desperate to find something, someone that proves to me that that night with her ten days ago wasn't anything special or new or better than any I've ever had. There's no denying that it was a raw, angry fucking, no emotion other than rage and a desire to release stress, but it was like nothing I've ever had.

Maybe it's something with her body, the way her thighs are so thick and soft but strong, perfect to rest over my shoulders, the way her breasts fit perfectly in my hands, the way she responds to every little touch so sensitively. Or maybe it's because of her bratty attitude, maybe I got a high off of being able to tame just for a night the she-devil in her. I knew the day I met her that she's as malicious as a cruel god, and yet though I begged first, I had her wrapped around my finger for the night, and I've never felt anything more exhilarating right now.