Killed Me First

Chapter 2

His hand was trailing down between my breasts, going lower...lower...lower...

He kissed me. He kissed my neck. He kissed my cheeks, my tears. Why was I crying? Why was he crying? I've never seen him cry.

He kissed me like it was the first and the last, gently and hungrily. 

It felt different, odd, it felt right.

Then the pain hit again, right below my chest. I felt myself gasp, maybe I screamed, not because of the pain that was making me dizzy, but because he was holding the knife, coated in my blood. 

~~~~~~~

It had only been a few days since we first came to Hogwarts. I had stayed in an abandoned cabin near the quidditch field which used to be used for supplies. It was small, but it would suffice. 

Most of the students were used to their classes since they were redoing the year. I only went to DAA classes with the Hufflepuff's since they were always kind to me, despite me always refusing to do any magic. They don't know that I can't do any.

I also become close with Luna. She walks around the quidditch field and saw me going into my cabin one night. She explained to me that she sleepwalks. She also makes the best soups.

I hadn't seen Draco since the incident at the train. I would catch glimpses of white hair, but they'd disappear before I could follow. There were also wards in the Slytherin common rooms, making it difficult for me to go in. Clever, those Slytherins. 

I was doing my daily walk around the astronomy tower, where I've heard Draco spends most of his time when I caught a glimpse again. I hid behind a desk, large enough to conceal me. 

Draco walked into the tower alone. He seemed to be distant from most people. He always had been after the war. Did he feel...bad? 

He slumped over into a vacant desk and covered his eyes. He hasn't seen me yet. This is my chance. I looked around the room and saw a closet that I can hide behind. I was taught when I was 14 how to walk so that no one could hear me. With him covering his eyes, this should be easy.

And it was. 

I was behind the closet, maybe 3 feet behind him, knife in hand. I could go for the base of the skull and sever his spinal cord. It would be quick and easy. I could go for the axillary artillery, though that may be difficult to reach. Or maybe even-

Is he crying?

TW: This next part has mentions of self-harm. If you ever need someone to talk to, my messages are always open. Please stay safe, I love you <3

He was shaking with his cries, quiet but painful. I almost felt bad for him.

Then he pulled up his sleeve and my heart dropped.

So many, there were so many. 

He pulled out his knife, the same one that was against my neck a few days ago, and put it against his skin. 

No

He stood up. Did he hear me breathing? Did he sense me?

Next to me was a broken vial. It had shattered when I backed up into it. How could I be so stupid?

He pulled out his wand and started inching towards me, his tears now dry and gone. 

"Is someone in there?" That was Luna's voice. Oh, thank goodness for Luna. 

Draco turned to the door and looked one last time at the place I was hiding before apparating. 

"Hello, Piper. Has anyone ever told you your brain is full of ragspurts? Terrible, really." I shyly walked out of the closet and thanked every god for not letting me get caught.

~~~~~~~

It's been a day since seeing Draco in the astronomy tower. I hate myself for wanting to help him. 

The bruise blooming on my side is making it much easier though. I've gotten plenty of bruises, even fatal wounds, but bruises like these on sensitive areas almost hurt the most. It hurts to move. Luckily it's on my left side, so I can still protect myself and kill. 

I was applying some cream that Hagrid gave me, which is supposed to spread up the healing process when someone started knocking on my door. I assumed it was Luna since she and Hagrid were the only ones who knew about this place, and Hagrid would have been long asleep by now. It was almost 3 AM.

Thinking its Luna, I opened the door with my bath towel on and my hair still wet. 

"Well, isn't this a view?"

It wasn't Luna.

Draco stared at me, not daring to look lower, which surprised me. But he did barge in so that was the length of his manners. 

"What are you doing here?" Caught off guard, again. I promise I'm usually not this bad at my job.

"Just came to check up on you." He laid on the small bed I had in the corner and pulled out that damned knife, twirling it like a toy.

"How's that bruise doing?" He asked, not taking his eyes off his knife.

"It's fine, no thanks to you." 

"Does it hurt?"

"Of course, it's a bruise dumb ass." He smiled at that. He still wouldn't look at me.

"Good. Normal humans are meant to feel pain." Where have I heard that before? 

He pulled out his wand and I flinched. I would be defenseless here. It would also be hard for me to fight him considering I'm in a bath towel. 

"I'm not going to hurt you, I'm not that idiotic to kill you in your own house, especially when you're in a state like that." He grinned again. 

"Like I'd believe you. You like pain." I said. He took notice of the last sentence.

"I knew you were there. Behind the closet? Ah, smart. But not smart enough. I am assuming you saw me doing..." He seemed like he didn't want to continue. 

"Why? Why do you do that to yourself?" I hated myself for wanting to know.

"I don't tell strangers my personal life, especially ones who are supposed to kill me." He got up and started towards the door. He looked like he hesitated, but I could never tell with him. He looked weary, sad, drained. Then he was gone.

I let out a breath, a long, sharp, breath. And when I took off the bath towel to continue putting on the cream, the bruise was gone.