Katpiss walked into the pitch dark, silent room. She could see the silhouette of Petar, lying on the dirty, unmade bed. She glared at him. "The least you could do is wash the bed! But all you do all day is lie down with poop coming out of your butt, eat cheese sandwiches, and grunt at everything I say to you" Katpiss snapped. And as usual, Petar grunted.
"ALRIGHT, THATS IT" Katpiss screamed, "IVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR PIG NOISES AMD DISABILITY TO PERFORM SIMPLE TASKS LIKE WIPING YOUR BUTTHOLE"
"IM GOING TO DO SOMETHING YOU HAVE DESPISED FOR CENTURIES" Katpiss screamed, so loud that her uterus exploded.
"No, don't" Petar whispered.
Katpiss ignored his feeble plead for mercy, and lifted up her shirt, flashing her saggy titties.
Petar died instantly, from seeing such a horrific sight.
TWO THOUSAND YEARS LATER....
Katpiss sat on the edge of Petar's hospital bed, peering at his forever-shut eyes.
She reached towards his bedside table, and stole his wallet.
Katpiss remembered a song that she used to sing when she was a little boy.
She looked at Petar's lifeless willy, and out of pure joy, she began to sing the song.
It goes a little something like this:
......................................................................
'The Farting Tree'
Are you are you
Coming to the tree
You better bring lots of KFC
strange things are happening here
I really need to pee
KFC KFC KFC KFC
Are you are you
Farting in the tree
Where a creepy man called out
And searched his butt for flees
Strange things happened there
No stranger if we peed
And farted at midnight
At the local KFC
Are you are you
Washing at the tree
Where I told you to run
So your willy would be free
Strong things didn't happen here
Very strange it would seem
If we met a midnight
At the Farting tree
Fuck you fuck you
Why aren't you at the tree
Eating a crispy chicken strip
side by side with me
Strange things did happen here
no stranger would it be
If we met at midnight
in the hanging tree
......................................................................
As Katpiss started singing the last verse, she noticed Petar's eyes flicker. They were opening. She watched them open fully, expanding to the size of dinner plates.
After centuries of waiting, he was finally awake from his coma-thing.
Katpiss then proceeded to repeatedly stab Petar in the gina, causing him to die from blood loss.
Credit: CaptainStirling
