Secrets Until Someday

Chapter 19

Sydney's POV

I woke up the next morning and I could hardly open my eyes, my head was pounding and I was so dizzy I thought I was going to be sick. My mouth felt like the Sahara desert so I chugged down the water that was sitting on the nightstand next to me.

 I rolled out of bed, keeping my head down so I didn't fall over from the spinning, and slowly crawled to the bathroom. I pulled myself up against the sink and threw cold water on my face over and over again trying to help with the swelling around my eyes. It was no use. I decided a hot shower was my next plan of action, so I started the water, stripped my clothes off, and tiptoed in. I winced as the scalding hot water bounced off my skin but after a second I could barely feel it. 

I sat down on the tile, tucked my legs up to my body, and rested my forehead on my knees, wondering to myself how my life had become such a mess in such a short period. This year was supposed to be a breeze, school, cheer, friends, and parties. No boys, no drama, and no Brooks. Everything has gone completely off the rails. 

I couldn't help but think about the future and how excited I was to get out of this town and start fresh. The thought of college in North Carolina is looking better every day. I silently wish Quinn would come with me. I know she won't though, Sam has been begging her since her Sophomore year to promise they will go to college together.

 I love that kid but he has his claws in her deep. 

As the water rushes down over my body my headache slowly starts to subside, but the heaviness I feel weighing on my shoulders remains. I feel like such a shitty person for what I did to Layla and I have no idea how to make it up to her. She shouldn't forgive me really, it's not like I deserve it. And Brooks, I fell in love with that kid three years ago, and the time we spent together stamped my heart. He had claimed it as his but was never quite ready to admit it fully or maybe he was just too ashamed that it was me that he was claiming? 

This messy girl with big emotions, a big mouth, and who beats to her own drum. The one with no real plan and who thrived on freedom, breaking the rules, and speaking her mind. Every insecurity I have ever had about being "too much" were exactly the reason why he would never want the world to know I was his. 

All the thoughts make me dizzy again so I reach for the soap, clean myself off and crawl out of the shower. I wrapped myself in a towel and ventured back into my room, put on a huge baggy T-shirt, and a pair of underwear, slinking back under the covers. 

A few minutes pass and my mom comes in.

"Are you awake?" She quietly asks.

"Yeah. Come on in." I say very slowly rolling over to face her, my wet hair plastered to my face in a tangled mess.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm super dizzy and my head hurts," I pout.

"Well, I'd say you need to take it easy and get lots of rest." She tells me in her motherly tone. "Here I brought you some meds just in case you had a headache." And she hands me two white pills. I swallow them down with the bottle of water she also had brought with her.

'Thanks, mom."

She sat down on the bed next to me and pushed the hair out of my face. "This is a tangled mess, hold on." And she walks out of the room and returns seconds later with my brush in hand.

 "Here, sit up." And she gently grabs my arm and helps me to a seated position. I feel weak and it must show on my face. She scoots behind me and begins brushing through the mess of wet hair. She moves through it slowly unlike when I was a kid and she would knock me in the head with the brush if I was wiggling too much.  I giggle out loud at the memory.