The 70th Hunger Games: A Little Love

Epilogue

Dear Diary,

I'm sorry for not writing for a while, I was just so overwhelmed within the weeks that I came home. There was a big ceremony in the towns square, a huge party at my school, and then a small intimate gathering with my family and friends and the victors. Everyone was just so glad I came home, and I was so glad to see them. I know that soon enough I'll be leaving for my tour of the districts, and that three victors, Finnick, Mags and Cero will be accompanying me, since Trident and Emilio don't want to come.

The first thing I did, when I got back from the capital, was hug my family. I sat there for probably ten minutes just holding my mom and dad and little brother, crying into their arms. I couldn't believe I made it home, and I don't think they could believe it either. I think they were really expecting me to die in there, just like the rest of the district. But I survived.

That night, they made one of my favorite meals, roasted garlic, onions and broccoli, which they ate with chicken and I eat with this bland meat substitute that takes on the taste of the surrounding food, called tofu. Although the food in the capital was cooked by professional chefs with years of experience, this one tasted much better, because I knew I was going to live after it. I wasn't being sent to my death, I was going to go to sleep and wake up the next morning with my family.

Despite my seventy-four on my biology test, and not finishing my final year, my high school awarded me with my diploma when I came back. I didn't have my last formal dance, but that's fine really, because I was able to see all my friends soon after when I came back.

I was able to spend time with Immah, and Paislee, and Seeah within the next couple of days. And it just felt so good to be able to see them, it really made me feel alive to be able to hug my friends and laugh with them again. Although all we did was walk by the ocean with our feet in the sand, it felt like a lifetime of happiness was created there on that beach.

I saw Watter too. And for the first couple of minutes, or maybe it was an hour, we just stood there and held each other. They lost their little brother. I lost my tribute partner. I saw his head fall off and roll to my feet. Despite any sort of stellar camera the capital may have, it does no justice to actually seeing the blood, hearing the cries, smelling the death that was thick in the air.

And after just holding each other, we went for a walk.

"How are you feeling? How is your family?" I ask them, clasping and unclasping my hands together nervously. Even the thought of Percy and his lifeless, headless body hanging limp in Cicero's arms brought my anxiety to a boiling point.

They answer me, their voice heavy. "My mom didn't take it too well. She was up all night the day he died. She was just sick, and she couldn't sleep. My father tried to be stone faced, you know him," I nodded, putting my hand on their back, "but I could hear him crying a bit at night."

"And what about you, Watter?"

"Well, I don't know. I guess I just repressed my feelings so much, you know? I had two of the people I loved in that arena. When I lost him, when I saw him die, it was like, I couldn't give up. I knew I just lost my little brother, and my family was just falling apart, but you were there. You were still alive. There was still hope for my best friend, for someone I love so dearly, to come back to me. So I guess I just kept hoping that you would come back."

I took a deep breath. How do I console them in this situation? How does someone console anyone in a situation like this? They lost their brother, their Alex, their ball of sunshine, and they got me back. Me. If I was them, it wouldn't have been an equal trade at all. I don't know how Watter could see me without screaming at me, without killing me for not protecting Percy good enough. I can barely live with myself. How can they live with me?