story times and thoughts~

he loves me, she loves me too, now they also love me..... fuck

romance as a concept is such a beautiful thing to me. the idea of being attracted to another person in a way that makes you feel all sorts of ways to the point where just thinking of them affects you is both beautiful yet terrifying.

but the moment i somehow get involved in all that nonsense? disgusting. brings me genuine discomfort and nausea.

im aromantic asexual, meaning i don't feel romantic or sexual attraction. we're going to focus on the aromanticism of me today.

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now, up until this point, i didn't at all want to be romantically associated with another being. i was down for the cuddling and going out on dates thing but not the whole "i'll love you forever sid" bullshit. too much for me blergh.

there's just something so unsettling and uncomfortable about me loving another being in a romantic light. i don't know how to explain it but it's just so not okay.

coming to the conclusion that i was an aromantic asexual was very challenging honestly. to be aroace in a society where romance and sex are made out to be the only things that can bring one joy is not a very fun experience. constantly being asked about whether or not you're in a relationship, being considered lonely if you're not in a relationship, constant virgin shaming even if you're not even of age, and so much more. 'tis truly exhausting.

i have a couple of friends who also fall on either the ace or aro spectrum. one thing we can all agree is that the two are HEAVILY overrated.

i mean, have you ever played with a small animal? or had a picnic by the park or beach? or just experienced the beauty of nature? because those are what make life so beautiful.

i could go on for days about the pure joy i experience when i see a squirrel just like climbing a tree or the grateful breath i release when i see that the same squirrel didn't get hit by the car passing by but im afraid i must now go.....

but only bc it's like 11pm and i just wanna get this uploaded haha