A Lucky Man (Snarry)

I lived in the dark so as not to be blinded when darkness came

"I'm not wise at all. I told you, I know nothing. I know books, and I know how to string words together—it doesn't mean I know how to speak about the things that matter most to me."

― André Aciman, Call Me by Your Name

"You are doing it again, Harry.", Luna whispered, making him look down, a small blush blooming in his cheeks at being caught staring at Severus.

At least, it was Luna and not the man himself, which had happened already, too many times for comfort. Harry just couldn't seem to help himself, the feelings he thought he had buried long ago, coming out to the surface with the reappearance of Severus.

He tried to squash them, knowing that they would bring him nothing but sorrow, and yet, he couldn't. On the contrary, as the weeks went by, he found himself more and more enamored with the man.

Severus was still the man Harry had known during his school years; intense and snarky, but there was now a warmth in him, a softness that was never there before. He smiled now, small quirks of his lips, nothing more, but still there.

He actually talked with people instead of fighting, and spent his time in the teacher's lounge, not hiding in the dungeons like he used to.

He still refused to suffer fools, and his tongue was as venomous as ever, but only when it was deserved.

He was everything Harry wanted and yet, everything he could never have.

Harry sighed, making himself concentrate on what was being discussed instead of dwelling on the things he couldn't change.

"Anything else?", Snape asked as Professor Sprout finished with her class report. When no one said anything, he nodded and finished the meeting making Harry's hands start to sweat.

He needed to ask him something and he felt nervous about it. He stood up, and made his way toward Severus, taking the opportunity that the man had stuck around after the end of the meeting.

"Headmaster, could I have a moment?", he said as he approached him, proud that his voice came out strong and even, even if he felt anything but.

Severus looked up, one of his brows rising as he saw Harry before he nodded.

"Of course. Here, or would you prefer a more private setting?", he asked smoothly.

Harry blinked, his face going up in flames as his mind came up with a rather vivid picture of a private setting, he wished they could have.

"Um... no.", Harry squeaked, blushing even more in embarrassment as the edge of Snape's lips quirked up.

Harry cleared his throat, looking away, all the while berating himself for acting like a love-sick teenager.

Smooth, Harry, real smooth.

"I mean, this works just fine. I was just wondering if you would have anything against me starting a dueling club? Something like what we had in my second year, but better?"

One of Snape's brows furrowed, and Harry realized what he had said, a feeling of utter horror rising in his stomach.

"Not that it was bad! I mean you were brilliant! You are always brilliant, of course. I just meant without Lockhart around to mess things up."

Someone, for the love of God, kill me!

Harry thought, feeling horrified at verbal diarrhea that had just spilled out of his mouth. Snape, on the other hand, looked like he was having a time of his life, his trademark smirk firmly on his face, his eyes dancing with merriment as he watched Harry.