heat waves // dirkjake

part two

"I just wonder what you're dreaming of

When you sleep and smile so comfortable

I just wish that I could give you that

That look that's perfectly unsad" 

You wake up at the extreme heat you feel. You already kicked off the blankets and had on just a shirt and boxers, but for some reason your body was way too hot to be sleeping and needed to cool down before you could return. There wasn't an actual sun on LOTAK but the sky omitted enough light to need to be blocked out, so the shades were drawn to allow you and Jake to have some sort of a rest time between projects. You looked around the darkened room, eyes adjusting to see objects in the low light. The fans are turned on high and admit the only sounds in the room. On both of your planets, without some sort of constant sound in the background the planet seems to omit a noise that gives you a raging migraine and makes your brain feel almost as if its being pushed and pulled in every direction. Jake doesn't seem to have the problem, which you can't seem to figure out why it affects only you. The fans are there to block out the strange noise so you can sleep, but also it seems that Jake prefers to be cold while sleeping, probably because of the environment he grew up in. There isn't really any sort of temperature on your island anyway, the only real temperature would be manipulation of the environment via fans or from another person's own body temperature.

You turn your head to look at Jake, sleeping peacefully next to you. You've been trying to savor your relationship with him, although even after all this time it seems unreal. You never actually thought anything would come of your crush, so seeing him react to you in the same way you do to him is stunning. He is stunning, at all times. Between the both of you you're sure there are flaws that will begin to shine as your relationship delves further, but for right now you couldn't care. Right now all you want to do is stare at your boyfriend and how hopeful he looks while he sleeps. Without your dream selves he must dream in the most vibrant of colors that would make anyone reach for a pair of shades. In the low light you are able to make out so many details, like the curve of his nose on his face, and the small bump in the middle that gives away that its most likely been broken before. Small beauty marks break his perfect skin, along a few minimal scars that would've been unnoticeable if you weren't so close to him. You scooted closer, giving him a light kiss on the cheek. He doesn't move. Jakes the deepest sleeper, unable to wake up to any noise, which is the opposite of you, who seems to be awake at any sign of alarm.

As much as you recognize that you all have a lot of growth to do in order to do well in this game, you also can't help but hope that Jake continues to be himself. You know this to be impossible, that there is no way for y'all to grow in your relationships and be able to work together when it's needed most if you don't grow and change for the betterment of yourself and those who are around you, and yet you want to keep Jake here forever, smiling and laughing and being so hopeful. He fuels a part of you that you didn't even realize you needed, a part of you that makes you go and strive for more.

Jake mumbles and turns, not quite awake but his brain recognizes your presence and he turns to pull you into his space. Your heart tenses and your body feels even warmer at the fact that even when he's not conscious he still wants you near him. You're sure that your face is burning and you don't bother to stop it because hey, he's asleep and no one else is here to see right? You can only hope Hal isn't around right now because that teasing won't be fun to deal with. He mumbles something just slightly too incoherent to understand, and it makes you chuckle lightly into his clothed shoulder. The shirt he's wearing used to not fit him at all, hanging off of him strangely and weird in fitting. That was before the game started, when you used to video chat as soon as you got it all set up to be possible on both sides. Now the shirt hugs him comfortably in all the right places, and he looks extremely hot in anything he wears. Not that that's something you should be thinking about right now. In fact, thinking about how he'd look and act when you two are engaging in anything that is sexual in nature is not something that should be at the top of your list of important things you have to do. In fact, its at the bottom because you have so many other more important things to do and worry about while you are waiting and-

Jake shuffles again, hitting his nose on your forehead and that makes him reach up and rub at it before laying back on his back. His right arm is still holding you close to him, you head resting on his bicep. You move your legs closer to his, experimentally tucking one of yours around one of his legs. He pulls you even closer in response, and you lay your head on his chest. His heart pumps against your ear and you can feel the way his chest moves up and down when he breathes in and out and in and out and in and out. It's comfortable and calms you extremely, listening to his heart beat. You remember once reading something about people liking to listen to heart beats because it reminds you of your mother and it's comforting. You don't have any parents who held you when you were a baby, and yet with every beat of Jake's heart your mind becomes quieter and quieter. Everything is peaceful, and as you drift back into sleep you can't help but hope it'll always be like this.