Fight [AsahixNishinoya]

Chap 10

[hi uhm trigger warning? there's a very detailed? crying scene in this chapter. It made me rethink of not so great past experiences so uhhh be careful-]

There was a park nearby so we headed over there and sat down on a bench.

The air was tense and slightly awkward. Asahi was definitely uncomfortable but he seemed to want to go through with this. I honestly just feel really sleepy. I haven't had such a long practice in a while, not to mention, Asahi had a comforting presence. But, this isn't the time for me to enjoy his company. I fucked up, badly. I've been given an opportunity to fix my mistakes so I should fix them... as much as I can..

"I'm sorry Asahi-san."

He turned his head sharply to look at me, a shocked expression stretched across his face. "Why are you apologizing? I should be the one to say sorry!"

I blinked at him blankly. "Are you fucking kidding me."

"I overstepped your boundaries! Put you in impossible situations! Heck, I hurt you." I felt tears burn the corners of my eyes. "I took things way too fucking far. You could have even gotten in trouble because of me! And again. I hurt you. Emphasis on that p-please." A bitter laugh escaped my throat and my body shook from the laughter and/or the held back sobs.

"That's why I'm sorry Asahi-san. I'm really...really sorry..."

I bit my lip as my vision blurred. I've lost it. I've lost my cool. I'm tired, I can't think straight. I'm completely vulnerable to whatever he's gonna throw at me. I closed my eyes and rested my head in my hands, ready to brace his reaction.

What I didn't expect was big arms engulfing me. I was instantly thrown into a circle of warmth and comfort. A sob rose up from my throat. I gripped onto his shirt and buried my face into it as muffled cries wracked my body. "Hey, hey... It's okay..." Asahi said, his voice cracked as he rubbed my back. Hot tears continued to roll down my cheeks, burning them. "I'm sorry Asahi-san..." I mumbled into his shirt in between sobs. "I'm so sorry... Just don't leave again.. please..." My whole body was shaking. My lungs hurt. My throat was sore. Nothing made sense anymore: my surrounding, my thoughts, my feelings... It had all become one big blur.

And so I cried. I cried until I felt like passing out. I cried until I felt empty, empty of all emotions, empty of all tears. I cried to the point where I felt numb.

I didn't feel like moving, heck there was no point in moving.

But then I felt a warm tear sear the back of my neck. I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to get my brain to focus. Was Asahi crying?

I wanted to look at him in the face but he had rested his head on my shoulder. The strong arms that were supporting me were shaking. I gently placed a hand on them. "S-sorry for breaking down like that.. It must have given you quite a scare huh..." I wanted to cheer him up but I didn't have it in me to add the usual energy in voice. "It's not your fault Nishinoya.." He mumbled, voice breaking. "I just.. Can we just stay like this for a while longer?.. I'll give you the explanation you deserve but.. Just a while longer.." I felt my heart wrench. "Sure.. take your time", I muttered a reply before placing a hand on his back as an attempt to soothe him.

Unlike my noisy wails, Asahi cried silently. I felt his tears slowly seep into my shirt as the held back cries caused his body to tremble. He kept every sound in, save the occasional 'hic' that escapes his mouth. "You can let it all out your know... Don't keep the hurt in" I mumbled into his ear. He exhaled before sitting up and pulling away from me. The sudden coldness made me cringe. But at least I can look at him now. His eyes were rimmed with red and you can see the shine of tears in them. He had stopped shaking but he was biting on the inside of his mouth. He took in a shaky breath before he said, "Alright then.. I won't."

"I didn't see the need for you to apologize for this mess since it was mostly my fault. If I had just listened to you back then; if I had just calmed down; if I had had a better attitude..." He looked away but I saw his mouth set into a thin line. I put a hand on his shoulder. "Sure, you putting the blame on yourself is annoying as heck but I don't hate you for it... But i swear you are doing the same exact thing right now." I tightened my grip on his shoulder, causing him to jump. "Ah r-right, my bad.." He smiled weakly, "It takes a while to change habits..."

"I know," I said softly. I heard him sigh before he continued, "Other than apologizing for that, I need to apologize for leaving you alone." I inhaled sharply. He didn't give me much time to process what he said before he said, "I should have checked in on you during your suspension. A simple text message would work, and I couldn't even do that. Plus, the amount of times we came in contact in school but don't acknowledge each other is horrible. It made me very...uneasy..." His eyebrows were furrowed as he attempted to hold back tears. "That's why I reached out to you tonight. I couldn't stand it any longer. I sound selfish, I know, but I missed you..."

The last part was barely audible but it still sent chills down the back of my neck, causing my face to heat up. "It's alright, I missed you too." I muttered with a small smile on my face. I looked over to see Asahi's face glowing bright red. "And uh I forgive you Asahi-san. Do you..forgive me for the things I've done?"

"Of course, I have never once held that against you Nishinoya."

I felt a warmth bloom in my chest that spread throughout my body. Relief washed over me. I felt like screaming out of joy. A silence passed between us once again, but it felt comforting again. It felt normal.

"That means we're good, right Asahi-san?"

"Mmhm"

I smiled before breathing out a quiet response, "Good."