i told you.
i told you how i felt about you, 18 days ago.
i told you that i loved you.
i told you that i thought about you.
i told you that i am smitten by your being.
your reaction was more than anyone could ask for, when getting their heart broken. in a sense, i'm glad you rejected me. i would've never expected to be so grateful for a man. you know all about my negative male experience, and you've done so much to correct it. maybe that's what made me fall for you. maybe it's the way you view the world or the way you speak, but you're a safe space. a comfortable man. a secure and sure place for me to be. i don't think i can live without your presence for long. i don't want to either.
i didn't expect to cry as soon as i told you.
i didn't expect to fall for you harder.
i didn't expect to wish to tell my mom about you.
i didn't expect to ignore your texts until i was ready.
something in me wishes you love me back. but you're across the ocean, in a land so far away i don't know if i can make it there on time. what if you find another beautiful. gorgeous, talented girl, and you fall for her? i'll be crushed it isn't me, but i'll be happy you're content. i've thought about us, you know? goni always said how he felt that you and i belonged together, and how you and i bring peace of some form into our presence. he said he loved our energy, our interaction. why can't you love it as much as someone else did?
i may be falling.
i may love you.
i may not know what i'm doing.
i may be a total fool.
i know one thing, however.
i know that the stars shine the brightest in your eyes.
i'm in love with you, take care.
xoxo, ramajana.
