𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐘 - 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐀 𝐑.

𝟐

0:00 ⊙────────── 4:46

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

─i'm sorry i'm like this.─

─ i usually don't feel like this ─

─ i just really wanna die ─

he doesn't deserve this. nobody does. i don't know why i kept this from him, i should've never. i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry. it's all my fault.

akemi's pov

i walked away from suna, trying my best not to show any remainings that my father had done to me. he knew i was abused, but not this bad. he didn't know all the things my father did to me, i didn't want him to know, i didn't want him to go crazy or do something so bad. i know he wants to run away with me, and we have it planned, but my fathers getting more abusive every day, and i don't want to admit it.

i'm too scared to realize whats going on, i'm too shocked in my thoughts, everything coming to me at once and everything is hitting me. i'm getting into a darker cave every day like blackness fulfills my head. i feel fuzzy, i feel so upset, no motivation for nothing but death.

the bruises down my legs, the bruises on my thighs, and of course, the worst, i was in pain. i was holding everything together and i tried not to make it obvious i was abused. i gave everyone smiles, i tried making everyone happy, and laugh at everyones jokes to cover up. i wanted everyone to know i wasn't abused, which isn't reality, i am abused, every day, and it gets worse and worse.

and the only person that knows is suna, because i trust him. i love him, and i really just want to move in with him already and feel happy. i want him playing his videogames like we do when his parents aren't over, or him cooking my favorite cream bread that i liked so much.

i went back to class as the bell rang, sitting down on my desk, my high thigh socks lowering a bit. i grab the tip of the socks and higher them a bit, covering my bruises.

❛hes probably going to ask after school❜ i thought putting my head down, overwhelmed in pain. i really needed another smoke, i just want to pass out or get so high i can't feel myself anymore. i closed my eyes, pretended i were with suna, smoking, or playing videogames, kissing, i didn't care what, but with him, because he calmed me down.

❝akemi, what is the answer to this problem?❞ the teacher yelled out, my head shooting up and my eyes giving her a glare that said 'bitch did you really just ask me that'. i knew what was going on, i looked at the board and tried to understand what was going on, but my mind went blank.

i didn't know what to do, everything came at me at once. i looked at all the problems on the board trying to figure out what question my teacher was talking about. i got stressed out and looked everywhere, my teacher, still waiting for my response.

i gulped loudly, looked around the room and everybody was staring at me, as my surroundings got tinier and tinier. i looked everywhere and it felt like cameras taking pictures, frame per frame, my head started spinning, i got sweatier, i felt weaker, my legs trembled. and then. it came to my mind, the thought of what had happened last night.

a tear rolled down my cheek.
and i ran out of the classroom.
and i ran to the bathroom, closed myself in a stall,
ignoring all the people that were staring at me as i ran
it all happened so fast.

i heard the bathroom door hit the wall, it wasn't me though, i was in a stall crying.
it was suna.
my comfort person.
my one and only.

still sobbing, i see the stall open a bit, it was him, his expression fell as he saw the tears run down my face.

"nononono... whats wrong baby" suna said as he approached me, crouching down at my face level and cupping my face with his hands.

"i- i'm sorry suna" i said, wrapping myself around him, he held me closely to him and let me cry all over his shoulder leaving a wet spot on his shirt from all the tears.

"are you okay, do you need a smoke?" he said moving away from me, then he grabbed a cigarette from his pocket and the lighter from the other pocket, putting the cigarette in his mouth and lighting it, handing it to me.

i grabbed the cigarette and inhaled a bit, calming down. "i'm sorry for keeping this from you but i need to get it off my chest." i said shaking terribly holding the cigarette as if it was about to fall from my hands and land on the concrete ground.

"take your time, please, i don't want you to get like this, i can't see you cry like this." suna said, putting his hands on my face wiping the tears with his thumbs and fixing my eyeliner that was smudged from all the crying.

still shaking, more nervous than ever.
the memories ran through my head.
the yelps.
the cries.
the begging to stop.
this was a new beginning.
a new beginning for me and suna,
i left it all on sunas hands,
to save me from this monstrosity.

i wanted to runaway as soon as possible.
i can't take the pain anymore,
or i'll kill myself.

"i..." i started shaking, my breath started slowing, my heart started racing, anxiety filling my head as if i did something wrong, as if i was the one in wrong when truely i never deserved this, or that is what suna says.

i believe everything suna says. i believe his stupid lies and i believe things he says that are true.

believe,
they tell me
but who do i believe?
who's the right person to believe?

he held me tightly, letting the cigarette fall from my hand and hit the concrete bathroom floor. the fire slowly dying down. my heart started racing and more butterlies started filling my stomach.

this is who i need to believe.
it's the person right in front of me.
suna.
suna rintarō .

"i. i got raped. by my father." i said. shaking still, nervous of his reaction.

i feel my back suddenly getting wet, then i hear the sobs that come out of sunas voice.

the voice of pain, ah,
i've heard this before. it was when he got drunk.
and he had been recently receiving abuse.

the gasps and yells filled the room and soonly, i started crying along with him, his voice was in so much pain, his hug was getting tighter around my body.

he was in pain from hearing my shaky voice,
he was in pain physically from being abused,
he was in pain for being degraded in school and out of school.

and i,
i was in pain because of the same.

we're both, in pain

✧∘* ೃ ⋆｡

A/N

HI THIS HURT SM TO WRITE 💔 anyways tysm for everyone reading it, i'll try my best to update more often <33