An Affair of the Heart

Chapter 7: Questions and More Questions

Waiting for Alex, my mind was full of questions. 

How will I feel when I see him again? Will I still find him intriguing, attractive, interesting? Will we pickup from our last email or phone call, as if we had just seen one another yesterday? Is Alex the man I believe he is, or have I built him up in my mind, imagining him to be more than he is? What am I expecting from him?

Other and perhaps even more important questions buzzed around in my head. 

How will Alex respond to me? Will he be open and unfiltered? Charming and friendly as he was when we were together? Or will he wear a public face and hide behind some persona? Will it be awkward and uncomfortable? Will he wish he was anywhere but here, wondering why he had agreed to spend several hours of his time with this woman?

These were questions for which I had no answer.

Being an incurable and rather hopeless romantic, it is my tendency to magnify the virtues of people, particularly those I find attractive. Truth be told, many times I give people more credit than they might deserve. Attribute qualities and characteristics that can easily be out of proportion to who they really are behind the public face they wear. When it came to my perception of Alex, it was easy to focus on the many positive aspects of his personality that continued to draw me to him. Now as I was planning to spend several hours alone with Alex, I found myself hoping my judgment and perception of him was not misplaced.

Ah... but then I saw Alex walking towards me with a broad, open smile on his handsome face. And suddenly, all of my questions of how he would respond to me were immediately answered. The warm "Lily!" of his greeting and the huge hug that came with it instantly dispelled the nagging concerns I had been fussing about. Alex's embrace was strong and warm. I responded more eagerly than I expected to him and prolonged the embrace for several moments. Relishing the feel of Alex's arms holding me close, his face against mine as I inhaled the masculine and musky scent of his cologne. He did not let go of me until I pulled back from him.

We stood for the next few minutes while Alex oriented himself to where we were in relation to the restaurant where he was taking me for lunch. Then we began walking down the sidewalk and I casually put my arm through his. It felt comfortable and natural. The gesture was made without really thinking about what I was doing. Alex responded by pulling me closer to him so our bodies were touching shoulder to shoulder, setting a tone of intimacy and familiarity that was exciting. Alex's strong physical presence made me feel safe, protected, and special. Every woman watching us walk by must have envied me being on the arm of such a handsome man.