Things. Things are pretty out of hand. The sky is falling and the ground has collapsed. I mean.. I'm not dead... yet. I just want some good sleep and wake up from everything. Literally, everything that I've seen until now feels like a pitch black sea. Endless and pointless. So what I'm about to tell you might not be much of a big deal to you, but it might be to someone.
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*alarm ringing*
Suri: Ugh... I only got 3 hours of sleep.... why can't I have more rest for myself...??
Like always, waking up with a little selftalk. My head is ringing just like the alarm. I turn my alarm off and head to the bathroom.
Putting my hands on the sink, I look into the mirror. I see a tired student who is about to collapse to the floor.
Suri: If I can only be an important part of this f**king society. That would be... great.
I was being somewhat sarcastic. I always had dissatisfaction against the society like anyone else would.
Getting dressed up in my favorite hoodie, I walked out the front door. The sky is blue and it tastes like dust.
Suri: Mmh... the lovely scent of micro dust is killing me. How nice of China to give all this dust to us. F**kers...
Not trying to be offensive. I love their traditions and all! Just the people.. especially the government.
Just like any other ordinary day with people I see everyday has started. I walk down the streets and across the sidewalks. I daydreamed about my value while heading to my math academy since my school taught about values recently. I mean.. I don't really care, but some how the thought of personal values gave me a seizure. Not the worst, but it was still painful. I don't feel like there's a place for me in this hopeless planet. It sounds like a joke when someone tells me the "importance" about myself to the world, and actually it is. Sometimes I think to myself, 'I think I'm useless enough to die without anyone noticing'.
The boring lecture becomes a fertilizer to my daydreams. Once again, the thoughts about values peirced through my head. The concerns and fears are bringing the seizure, slowly yet intense.
Suri: 'No. Oh please not right now. I don't want to cry and blackout in middle of a lecture.'
But these cries wouldn't help.
Suri: 'God damn it...'
I could feel the faucet starting the engine. Warm tears leaked as my heartbeat intensified. I could see the void coming from the edge of my eyes, and the last thing I see is the teacher telling me to be quiet.
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Void.
Damp and dark.
Empty.
It sounds scary, but I found this rather peaceful. There's nothing to worry about except thinking of my chance of survival. I guess it's fine to die this way to be honest. I walked down... maybe upwards to have a time for myself. A little stroll must be fine in my own void.
After a few hours of walking, I still felt tireless which was odd. But then I noticed something that shouldn't be there; a light.
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<continued>
