THEN AGAIN • TC ✔️

3. Comparison(s)

Friday afternoon is long and tedious. Clem sees a high school student with crippling anxiety and a strained relationship with their parents and a load of stress on top of that, and it is genuinely painful to listen to her talk. (After three years of being a counsellor, Clem has managed to block out the bits of her that get too emotionally attached to clients. Usually.)

The girl sits on the little sofa in Clem's office--

(And she calls it her office but really it's the second bedroom of the three in the flat, and it's about as far from an office as possible. The only resemblance is a desk and chair in the corner of the room, but otherwise it's all overstuffed sofa and too many cushions and fluffy rugs and plenty of warm lighting and anything that can make it feel less like a hospital ward for her clients. Anything that makes them feel safe, comfortable, like they can open up to her.)

--so they can talk. And they do talk, and it's...well, it's not a happy conversation but it's a calm one, at least. Clem feels like they're finally getting somewhere, and she takes notes in her little patterned notebook instead of a clipboard. Wears fuzzy socks instead of heels and offers the girl a cup of tea before she goes. Clem always worries that she's done something wrong, somehow, said the wrong thing, so she tries to make sure that her space is welcoming.

She gets up, shuts her laptop and trails to the kitchen. Makes herself a cup of tea because her client didn't want one, in the end. Then she sits down for a bit, watching Philomena swim around aimlessly in her fishbowl. She feeds her even though she's pretty sure Timmy fed her this morning (and can fish even get fat?)

Clem goes to the kitchen and starts prepping salmon for her "little date", as Timmy would call it.

She's been seeing Nick for two weeks now, and the guy is...well, he's nice. Nice enough that Clem doesn't mind the fact that he talks a lot. She can look past that, because he's smart and funny and alarmingly un-awkward. It makes a change from being around Timmy, who may be smart and funny but is also painfully clunky when it comes to conversation. When it comes to anything, to be honest, although Clem doesn't mind that. It makes him even funnier. Even nicer to be around.

But it's Nick who's coming over tonight, not Timmy. Nick, who is three years older than her and has a beard that isn't really a beard, just stubble, but he keeps it well-groomed and Clem doesn't really like beards but it's kind of hot. Nick, who's comfortably taller than her and has the bulk to match. Nick, who has a habit of cracking his knuckles that Clem finds annoying, but also Nick who has big strong arms and a kind smile.

She takes her time with the salmon, basting it and putting it in the fridge to marinate. Then she moves onto the crumble.

The thing is, she wasn't going to make one. But the apples at the bottom of the bowl are seriously starting to look quite brown, and Clem hates throwing things away. Not to mention the fact that she doesn't want Nick seeing all those apples in the bowl and thinking she's some kind of freak.

(And she wasn't going to make one but really, she knows that that was a lie, anyway. Knows she was always going to make one, because Timmy had asked and she likes Timmy too much for her own good.) So she sets about peeling and coring the apples, slicing off the bits that are bruised beyond words and chopping them all into chunks. Then she tosses them all in brown sugar. Starts making the topping.

By this point, it's six o'clock. Nick is getting there at seven, so Clem speeds things up slightly. Whizzes through the rest of the crumble and then heads off to the bathroom, where she scrubs herself down with her own shower gel (because really, it's just bad manners showing up to a date smelling like her roommate). Clem gets dressed quickly, efficiently, because Timmy has already helped her pick out an outfit.

(Helped is maybe not the right word. She held things up while he was watching TV and he gave her a little grunt. A nod of approval. Barely even looked away from the screen, but Clem took it to mean that he liked that option best because he didn't even make a noise for the other ones).

So she puts on her little dress with the low neckline and the long sleeves. Tries to put on her makeup in the bathroom but the mirror is too foggy. Tries sitting down to do her makeup cross legged on the floor in her room, but eventually just goes into Timmy's room and sits at his desk, because he's the only one with a vanity that serves the purpose of its name – i.e. his is the only vanity with a mirror. (Clem's broke three months ago and she is yet to find one with character. Timmy thinks it's ridiculous to personify a mirror but Clem doesn't care; she needs a mirror she can bond with.)

Timmy's room feels empty without him in it, so she clears a space on his desk and gets to work quickly. Picks her way across the floor as quietly as she can.

She's ready on the dot of seven and waits until seven fifteen before texting Nick.

He gets there at twenty past seven, but the salmon has been ready for ten minutes by that point and when they actually sit down to eat, it's cold and the sauce that Clem made is starting to congeal (and that's not bad cooking, that's just the fact that it's been sitting there for twenty minutes).

Nick tells her she looks nice, and Clem smiles. Starts eating her salmon, and it flakes beautifully, and it tastes good. It's just a shame that it's cold.