Cut the strings and set me free

Part 5- untangle the knot around me

JIMIN POV:

It's a haze. A thick hazy fog that descends over the main bed chambers. That can't be penetrated by words, by the periodic bustle of the servants coming in and out to drop food off, to see if the limp figure of the princess rouses and stirs. Or whether she remains as she had been for the past few days drifting in and out of fitful consciousness.

When we'd brought her here, she'd been freezing- a cold lifeless figure between us, who didn't stir, whose chest rose and fall with the weakest and thinnest of breaths. And now it was a constant harsh deep sound of her breathing, as if she needed more and more air and what was in her lungs was insufficient. And she turned from a still cold figure to being overheated and unsettled, her chest rapidly falling and rising, back arching slightly as she writhed in her sleep, pained sounds slipping out as she sobbed, hot feverish tears that had seeped out from under shut eyelids and onto her heated clammy skin. Broken sounds and half-words slipping past her lips, crying out for us; the tone of vulnerability, weakness and need making me tremble and press close despite how her heat seeped into me and rolled over in thick waves, because only in her most fragile state, in a state of unconsciousness was she letting out the pains and laments of her heart, only now did her soul weep and our ears finally get to hear it and listen- to share in it.

Growing closer with the knowledge that she too was shattered and devastated and hurting. In equal lengths and measures as we were. But where Tae and I decided to live an unfulfilled empty life with her as someone else's- she hadn't considered that as an option, hadn't considered it worthy to live in a world where we weren't each other's. But it made me ache. Ache that it was only when she pushed herself to this extent- that she'd had no intention of making it out of those waters until her limp lifeless figure washed ashore and someone stumbled onto her beaten battered body.

The day dawns and the night comes, slipping away and leaving behind the sight of her restless sleep and tormented figure bathed in moonlight. Tae remains on her other side just as steadfastly, and whenever I jerk away from a nightmare, from the agony of memories of the days passing by- he's always awake, eyes sharp and alert, despite the weariness and fatigue that drowns the soft brown of them. He looks like a phantom figure, remaining by her side vigilantly, only straying to get fresh towels and water to soak and place on her forehead, hands shaky but consistently dabbing at the sweat that beads on her skin. And I stay too, gently drawing her up when her fever-filled eyes opened and she seemed a bit more cognizant, allowing herself to be set into the crook of my arms or Tae's at time whilst the other fed her, spooned broths and soups to her lips, encouraged her to take small sips of heated sweetened milk laced with medicine. Praying that those beautiful fiery eyes we'd grown in love with, that we'd lost ourselves in would look at us and see us.

But she didn't, whenever her eyes lingered on us they didn't seem to see us- instead, it was as if her eyes couldn't focus on anything, couldn't see the walls of the room, couldn't see beyond the drugged sleepy haze as her body tried to fight the illness.

And everytime her eyes fell on me, my heart still leapt, my body still hopefully leaned forward to see that flash of recognition, plummeting to the very depths of the sea she'd tried to drown in.

"Please (Y/N), wake up. Wake up and see me, see us. Wake up and save us from this nightmare." I sobbed, clutching at her once we were allowed back in, the servants finished with giving her a bed bath, her hair damp and breathing deep and heavy. I flinched when my hands met the dampness of her hair, feeling the phantom of the salty air, crashing waves and a drenched figure come to mind, threaten to materialise.

On her other side Tae says nothing whilst he curls up beside her, only speaking in a low voice once his frame brackets hers, fingers brushing over her flushed cheek.