To Lose or To Gain: Ilah

Ilah

A calm that was not felt when Zuko lived under the same roof as his father and sister permeated the palace grounds. The young prince ate the feeling up, his eyes closing upon thinking about the freedom he found in traversing through his uncle and grandfather's domain within the palace. Today, Zuko just finished spending time with the two companions provided for him when he became a part of his uncle's household, but now he headed into his grandfather's domain knowing full well the Fire Lord wanted to know how his day went even if Zuko still struggled with finding words to describe how he felt, particularly in the presence of such an awestriking man.

Upon opening his eyes, Zuko found himself having taken a wrong turn. One hand reached up to the knot his hair was tied in, realizing quite quickly he'd taken a wrong turn.

Instead of continuing to the room his grandfather's sitting room, the young prince found himself drawn to the picture he'd discovered. Light of foot, he stepped forward, his eyes taking in the painting of a beautiful woman. Her skin was light and clear, the smile on her face seemingly having a light of its own. The woman's facial features were slimmer than that of Zuko's mother's, something he'd not thought even possible, while her ebony hair was tied into a dark bun. His head tilted, taking in every aspect of the picture, enthralled by the treasure he'd just found.

"Good afternoon, my dear grandson."

Zuko startled, turning to look the man in the eye. Somehow, despite having first feared the Fire Lord, he'd come to realize the man was in fact quite kind. A smile spread across his face while he turned and made the symbol of fire in his fist. "Good afternoon, grandfather."

"So, what have you found here?" The man's attention turned to the picture Zuko's own attention was drawn to moments before.

"Have I met her?"

"Have you..." Azulon not finishing the question made Zuko turn his head so he might take in the expression on the man's face.

"Did I say something wrong?"

His grandfather's facial features twisted in curiosity, a calloused hand reaching down to lightly touch Zuko's shoulder. "You've definitely not been in this part of the palace from what I can tell, so where do you think you've met her before?"

Zuko scrunched his facial features together, pondering the question before saying, "I don't know. I mean, I don't remember the exact place, but I've seen her like that and also looking older, like you and uncle with grey hair. She's still beautiful though, isn't she?"

"She is?"

The young prince blinked, tilting his head slightly. "Isn't she?" For some reason, he felt Azulon of all people should know this. "Well, she is. I don't know how to put that."

"Yes." Azulon patted Zuko's shoulder. "She certainly did become more beautiful with age."

"Did?" Zuko became confused.

"Are you sure you've seen her Zuko?"

"When I was younger. Particularly when I was younger." Zuko's mouth twisted into a frown. "When things were bad and mother wasn't there."

"Really?"

Zuko let out a sigh, his hands tucking behind his back. "Why do I have the feeling I've said something wrong?"

...

Many sought the hand of Ilah, her beauty had become renown through the entire Fire Nation, or so was written in the history books. In truth, there was a reason a certain someone called her a hidden treasure, the name sticking after they became married—she'd truly not ever ventured away from her family home, nor did she realize who the person she ended up marrying was right away, simply that her parents did approve of his personality and mannerisms yet became even more surprised themselves upon learning he was the heir to the Fire Lord.

"You're actually quite different than I expected," Ilah said right after he proposed let alone admitted who he really was.

"Oh, how so."

She pondered the question carefully, then said, "I expected someone far more rigid, far more imposing."

"I like the fact I can be myself around you, that I don't have to wear that mask." Azulon then asked a peculiar question. "Do you think one day, after this war is over that there is a chance for a Fire Lord which doesn't have to put on such a rigid and imposing face for his people? That perhaps instead of seeing him as a person who will bring fear into the hearts of the enemy, that one day – perhaps not in my reign, that the Fire Lord could be seen more as a person who has great compassion for his people and their wellbeing?"

"That is an interesting question. I don't have an answer for it, really."

Neither knew that "perhaps not in my reign" would hold true, with Lord Sozin passing before the two ended up marrying, but not before Azulon introduced them. She'd thought from his own words that the Fire Lord might be wearing a mask himself, yet she only ever perceived a man who was ever rigid and imposing, making her wonder where the masked side of Azulon came from—she definitely knew where the mask came from.

...

Practically everyone in the Fire Nation held in their minds a very specific image regarding the Fire Lord and by extension the Fire Lord's heir, one Sozin carefully crafted over the years. The only fleeting memory of the person Sozin once was lay in the Dragonbone Catacombs, something Azulon learned of when Fire Lord Sozin considered him of an appropriate age.

In truth, he'd already seen a fleeting memory of the past in the manner his father taught him Firebending, Living up to the image of being the heir to the Fire Lord left Azulon feeling at times as if he needed to escape from the palace grounds, where he found himself observing the people of the Fire Nation, but Sozin approved of these trips only because venturing out and observing let Azulon learn about the people of the Fire Nation.

"Why are the schools not teaching the style of Firebending I've learned?"

"The style being taught in the schools produces strong Firebenders not only at a faster rate but at a higher number."

Azulon didn't tell his father he found the other style flawed, particularly when that other family member ended up pushed aside to that style. Sometimes, it was better not to ask. That was one of those times he'd snuck out, but found himself coming across Ilah, who was hands down beautiful both inside and outside, but around her he could be himself, not the heir to the throne.

...

"No, Zuko. You didn't say anything wrong," Azulon reached down and lightly squeezed his grandson's shoulder. "From the sounds of things, you have a wonderful guardian spirit watching out for you."

"Really?"

"Really. I couldn't have asked for any other." Azulon watched his small grandson smile before he tore off, quite pleased with the fact Azulon was happy, although the Fire Lord suspected the boy didn't quite understand the reason for his happiness if he ever would.