In the beginning, clown god created the world. In his world, he created the divine trinity: the abstract concept of humor, the dark opposite in the form of fear and hatred, and the rich colorful faygo that flows through the blood vessels of every living creature, providing life and breath. After one thousand years of tumultuous development in the hateful lands of the world, clown god fucked three holy fat bitches and gave birth to clown jesus, Jestus. Jestus spread peace and restored laughter in an otherwise fear-filled and hateful world. Jestus would later be joined by two devoted disciples, Violent J (short for Violent Jester) and Shaggy2Dope (english translation for the french name Shauxgghie Deux D'oupe). The 2 clown prophets further spread Jestus's teachings throughout the land. They also uncovered the secrets of the afterlife, the Dark Carnival (a sickly mixture of the humor of a carnival and the horror of the everlasting unknown abyss that awaits all mortals in the afterlife. But the hateful people did not understand jestus's vibrant humor and jubilance, so they did the only thing they understood: they imprisoned jestus to be beheaded by juggling clubs the next day. On the night of his final day of life, jestus was joined by his two disciples and all who had been touched by clown god's loving teachings. They all had a large picnic feast in the prison building, cracking jokes and making fun. At the end of the night, the disciples asked jestus, "will you be resurrecting from the dead in three day's time?" And jestus responded, calmly, "no. I have completed my purpose that I have been sent here by clown god for. I have reintroduced the concept of laughter and foolery to this world. I have lit a spark that future generations will nurture into a beautiful fire, its warmth and glow illuminating the sad, the hateful, the afraid, and bringing those who have been wronged by this world into the light. I trust that you will help me tend to that fire." And with that, Jestus took his own life in the prison cell, with only violent j and shaggy2dope with him as witnesses. jestus slit his own guts with a sharp rock. And as he bled out, he whispered to them, "take my blood, it is the holy faygo of life, the essence of spirit that lives on in all living beings, capable of turning any lost soul to the side of good." As jestus released his final breath, a faint laughter escaped his chapped lips. he had succeeded, to be reunited in the dark carnival with clown god. The disciples quickly gathered his blood, and brought it to the sacred site where clown god had fucked the three fat bitches and jestus was born. There' they spent three days digging and building a fountain, where they filled it with jesus's faygo and combined it with wine from the nearest bar that resounded with jubilant laughter. They tended to the fountain, protecting it and adding members to their religion for thousands of years, baptising the evil and bringing out the good. Violent J and Shaggy2Dope became the two clown prophets, spreading smiles and laughter for one hundred years. After they died, they were buried at the top of a hill and a sacred clown church was constructed there. At the bottom of the hill is where the fountain was built. This fountain serves to reverse the negative personalities into the opposite side, free of sin. Nobody outside the clown religion knows where the fountain is, a secret that the clowns will take to their graves. For this fountain reverses a person's evil, it can also reverse the good. And should a villain get access to the fountain, he will turn well-meaning civilians into monsters with no hope for redemption, for the effects of baptism in the fountain are irreversable. (Are you still reading this shitty clown bible thing?? Holy shit dude)
