Destined With Him

37. A sea green stone .

Song : Halka Halka .

By : Sunidhi Chauhan 

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The next two days passed by in a blur . We hung around so many places in Goa , saw so many things and , Ayansh was in an ecstatic mood for which I was grateful . He said so himself that after telling me everything , he felt like a wait was lifted off his chest and I was glad for it . I know so myself , that he knows that I have my own share of secrets hidden underneath , and he wants to know them , he deserves to know them . But..... it's just me , who can't seem to put them out in words . 

From what Ayansh told me , it was him , who got passed through so many painful things , he felt like there was no one for him , he felt nobody ever cared . He was strong enough to show the world how he can lead everything , but he was weak when their were emotions involved . 

We both have this thing in common that's called fear . And am glad we both passed that stage together . 

Truth be told I was shocked after hearing about his bipolar disorder . God knows , how much in depression he was . I never even want to imagine that Ayansh , but then at the same time I want to . I wish I would have been there to help him out of that stage . 

He told me that I did helped , doesn't matter unknowingly or knowingly but , he said himself that I taught him to overcome that fear , and accept the inevitable . 

And the inevitable between both of us was , falling for each other so deeply in love . 

So why couldn't I let myself just tell him everything that holds my past and move on ?

I don't want to face the reality but I have to . Because ..... because maybe deep down , in some corner of my heart , and mind , I am still afraid . 

Afraid of losing him . 

I looked sideways , at his profile , staring ahead , the rays of the setting sun marveling his sharp features and his beautiful face . 

The view was beautiful than any sun set on the beach . 

He kept walking zoning out , my fingers intertwined with his own , the waves hitting our feet , like if the are playing a game of touching us and then running back . 

I folded my free hand around his arm and moved a little more closer placing my cheek on his arm as well and sighed . 

I need to tell him . I promise I would as well as we'll be back in his home . 

I just don't wanna spoil our time here together . 

Hmm , I gotta distract my mind from these toxic but rational thoughts . 

"What are you thinking about ?" I asked him looking up at his face and his lips twitched a little upwards . 

"You"  he replied smiling and looking down at me . My breath hitched at his smiling face , the way he was looking at me it was too much . 

"What about me?" I asked murmuring back . 

He looked upwards making a thinking face . "Umm.... welll ... like ..... how you'll look if you become fat....." he trailed off and looked at my open mouthed face . "Well , it's not like you aren't already fat...." 

I didn't let him finish and hit his arm , but he just laughed and I hit again . 

"Okay Okay baba , I was just kidding" he said still laughing and I pouted .