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26.
Thomas' reaction on your goodbye letter
"I'm sorry that I never told you, Thomas. I just didn't want to add more worries to your list, since finding Minho was the focus, which I respected and understood. I know I should've told you so we could've had a proper goodye, but instead I'm writing this letter a day before we're going into the city to get Minho.
I can feel myself slowly getting crazier and crazier. I hate it. There is one person I trusted with this, when you read this letter you'll know it's Brenda. She's the only one I trust with making the right decision, the decision that will actually help me. She'll end the misery, but don't blame her. Blame me. Blame me for not being careful enough, blame me for not confiding in you. I'm so sorry.
Just know that I love you. Even though my mind isn't clear anymore, my love for you is the clearest. I'll always love you Thomas. And even though I won't be able to be there for and with you physically, I'll always be with you. In your heart. In your thoughts.
I love you, forever Tommy." That was what you had written, and once Brenda had given Thomas the letter he started crying. He hadn't even read the letter yet and he was crying. But once he had read the letter he was inconsolable. He cried for hours on end, the pain of missing you too much for him to bear. He just wanted to be with you, and even considered ending his life to be there with you.
"Thomas, you and I both know that she wouldn't have wanted that." Brenda whispered when she sat down next to him at the bonfire, a couple days after he had read the letter. "She's not alone. She has Newt. And Chuck, and Teresa. And she still has you. Somehow she still has you, and you will always have her. So don't end things. Live. Show her that her work and sacrifice wasn't for nothing."
