Chapter 1. Another day

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Tilly
I woke up to the sound of loud crashes, this was just a daily occurrence so it didn't bother me anymore. 'It's got to be my parents again' I mentally groaned. Why they were still together was beyond me. With a loud sigh, I crashed back down into my bed and laid there for what felt like hours until I heard a small knock on my window. Hazily, I turned my head to see Jim smiling at me through the window. He seemed to be gesturing to something, and then I realised that he was gesturing for me to open the window. I had a wide and long window that led out onto a metal balcony with metal stairs leading up and down the apartment blocks. Me and Jim climb up and down them almost every day to visit each other. I opened the window with minimal effort on my part and he climbed through. I slowly looked up and gave him a weak smile. "How's my favourite girl doing today then?" he asked. I gave out a long sigh and his face turned to concern when he realised that my parents were ripping each other's heads off again. Jim walked over to me and embraced me in a tight and warm hug. He smelt of smoke and dog, which was an oddly comforting smell to me. I steadily wrapped my arms around him and sniffed quietly into his yellow sweater. "It'll be okay. I promise you" he took me out of the hug and looked me dead in the eyes. I had known Jim ever since I was 5, so I knew i could completely trust him when he told me that it would be okay. He leaned over and grabbed my diary that I had kept since we became friends. He always had good tactics of cheering me up, for example, when I was down, he would always read out the diary entry of when we first became friends.

Diary Entry 3
January 23rd 1984
I was sitting on my balcony today when a removals company van turned up. I looked down to see a red car parking behind it. A lady and a boy around my age stepped out of the car. I was fascinated by him, he wasn't like any other boy I had ever met or known. He seemed different, kind and unique. I knew it was my plan to become best friends with him. I guess he felt someone watching him as he looked up at me and I gave him a small smile and a wave, or course he waved back, but his Mom grabbed him by his hand and led him inside the apartment. I was hoping I'd catch this name, but no such luck.

Diary Entry 4
January 25th 1984
I haven't seen the intriguing boy for 2 days now. I'm wondering what he's like. I bet he doesn't have any friends here so I'm going to try and be his first friend because he looks a little lonely. I sat out on my balcony when Mom and Dad were fighting again this evening and I heard a window open from above me. I slowly looked up to reveal the boy standing on the balcony, watching the stars. "hey!" i called out. The boy looked at me and repeated what I had just said. I wasn't sure what to do, so I just decided to climb up the ladder and sit with him for a bit. We got chatting and I found out that his name was Jim and he moved to Manhattan because his Mom and Dad got a divorce. He has only moved with his Mom though. I told him about my life and my parents, I also told him that he is welcome any time to climb down the ladder, knock on my window and play together.

From then on, me and Jim waited for each other at my balcony every morning and learnt more about each other. We quickly became best friends, but I was yearning to be more than that...

——

As he neared the end of the diary entry, he turned towards me, his dirty blonde hair washing over his eyes, and said "come on, what about you and I get out of here for a little while?". Often Jim would take me away from the loudness of my house for the day - some nights I even stayed over at his house. I could tell that Jim desperately wanted to cheer me up, so with a loud huff followed by a wide grin, I climbed out of bed, threw on some denim jeans, a simple plaid flannel shirt and some converses and hopped out of my window.

As I reached the bottom of the ladder, Jim held tightly to my waist and helped me down. I turned round, blushing a little and quickly said "let's go!". I wasn't sure where we were going, but I just decided to follow Jim and see where he took us. In the evenings, if I followed Jim, he would usually take me to the alley. But we couldn't do this, not in the day. It was too risky. "Now Matilda-" he started, tugging at the bottom of my flannel shirt. "Tilly to you!" I corrected him with a hurt look. When i was younger, I let everyone call me Matilda, but that all changed when I got to middle school. I was bullied - lots. Those were the most painful years of growing up (or so i thought) and I couldn't bare being called Matilda again and having memories of what I had to endure. I stood stock still, a hard tear threatening to fall from my eye. Jim's face dropped as he recalled what I had told him about my name, he rushed over to me and without hesitance cried "oh Tilly, i'm so so sorry, please don't think I did it on purpose! I slipped. It was only once", embracing me in a tight hug. My arms found their way round his waist and I tightly hugged back. Deep down I knew it was a mistake, but even if he was playing a joke, it wasn't a very funny one. "It's alright" I mumbled from the depths of his scented t-shirt. There it was again, the smell that comforted me and made me feel safe. I looked up at him, wiping the falling tear from my eye and smiled. He let go of me and we wandered down the city road together, talking and talking until we reached the basketball court. I knew this basketball court meant so much to Jim, he always came here when he needed space when he was younger, somehow it had become my space too. We walked over to the hoop and he grabbed the ball sitting down by the bottom of it and threw it at me. I definitely was not the best at basketball, but I always gave it a go for Jim.

——

We spent hours playing basketball, and only did I realise how late it was when I heard Mickey and Paedro wander up from the alleyway. They were stumbling all over the place, muttering words that I could not understand. Of course they were high, it was the time of night to go and get stoned. I stared at Jim, he knew that I didn't really like Mickey and Paedro, and we quickly wandered off into the night, hopefully not to be seen by the two.

——

"Thank you for today" I gave Jim a warm smile as we sat at the roof, smoking a lit cigarette and watching the stars. "It's alright, I enjoyed it too" he returned my warm smile with a hug. We sat there for half an hour or so and I decided that I should probably get back. We said goodbye to each other and I climbed back down the ladder into my room where I felt trapped.

Another day where I did not confess my feelings to him.

LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS CHAPTER!! I DONT KNOW WHERE THIS STORY IS GOING, I'LL JUST HAVE TO FIGURE IT OUT. ANYWAY, STICK AROUND BECAUSE I MAY UPDATE PRETTY SOON!!

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