Love All The Way

29| Cause for celebration

My entire flight home is spent thinking of Milo. While our few days apart have only further solidified my feelings for him, it doesn't make admitting them any less scary. And in the back of my mind, grating on the strength I've worked hard to build up, is a voice that whispers, What if it's too late? What if he grew tired of the constant back and forth? What if he's moved on?

No, that's the fear talking again. And even if it's not, even if the voice in my head turns out to be correct, at least I won't have any regrets. I can walk away knowing I risked everything for love, even if it didn't pay off. And while rejection always hurts, it's easier to deal with than a million what-ifs.

Still, the knots in my stomach seem to follow me home. I turn to the car's window, focusing instead on the soaring skyscrapers passing in a blur. I'm less than twenty minutes away when Jess sends over a picture of Mulan with a message beneath it.

Mulan misses you and says that you better be back in time for my birthday party.

I write back: I will be. :)

Good. BTW, I asked Milo if he wanted to come, and he said maybe.

The knots in my stomach grow bigger. If Milo doesn't go, which is a real possibility given his maybe, when will I see him? And, more importantly, does he even want to see me?

It's not long before the Uber pulls into the parking lot of my complex. My body sinks, relieved at the sight of my crummy apartment, and I thank the driver before grabbing my case. Scrambling into the elevator, I push the button to my floor and impatiently wait for the doors to creak open. God, I'm glad to be home. Sometimes it takes stepping back for a while to make you realize what you have, and what I have is a city I adore, filled with people and things that I love. What more could I want?

As soon as I get to my door, Jess throws it open and pulls me inside, giving me the squeeze of my life. "God, I've missed you," she says, "and that stupid cat hasn't stopped meowing since you left."

Laughing, I squeeze her back before bending down to Mulan, who has appeared at Jess's feet. She nudges my hand as I rub at her cheek and lets out a long, content purr. "LA was nice and all," I say, "but I'm so glad to be back."

I close the door and dump my suitcase on the floor before sinking onto the sofa. At the risk of sounding like a bad friend, I don't want to admit I'd forgotten about attire for her party, so instead, I say, "I haven't decided. I have a few fancy dresses in my closet, but I'm torn between which to wear."

"Good thing you have me," she says and walks over to my closet, where she flings open the doors and proceeds to flick through the rack. I tell her about my trip as she examines each dress, pulling one out before putting it back and doing the same with another. Finally, she turns around, dress in her hand, and says, "Well, at least it sounds like you're sure of things now. Are you nervous about seeing Milo?

"Terrified." It's true too. As excited as I am to see him again, nervousness always proceeds our meetings, followed by a surge of adrenaline.

"Here," she says, handing me a dress, "I think you should wear this one tonight."

I look a the dress properly. It's an open-back ball gown dress with a chic strapless neckline and full skirt, accentuating the seam along the waistline. It's beautiful – magnificent, in fact – but I don't for the life of me remember buying it. I walk toward her, peering into my closet to check it's still mine, then pull back and look at the dress.

"That was in there?" I ask.

She nods, unable to hide her growing smile. "Yes, I put it in there yesterday. Do you like it?"

My mouth falls open. "You bought it?"

"Well, when I looked through your closet, I noticed you'd yet to buy anything for my party, and I figured you wouldn't have time when you got back, so I got something for you. You don't have to wear it if you don't like–"

"I love it," I say, throwing my arms around her, "I'm just in shock." I pull back and then, "Why were you looking through my closet?"

"Hey, I had to find a way to distract myself from that crying cat." She glances at her watch and adds, "Oh shit. I need to go home and start getting ready. I'll see you tonight, okay?"

I nod and hug her again. Sometimes I can't believe how lucky I am to have a friend like her. "Thank you again for the dress. You're a lifesaver."

She smiles and flounces over to the door. "Of course I am."

I spend the next hour showering and preening myself until I resemble a freshly plucked bird. I do my hair next, leaving it in voluminous waves before starting my makeup. My dress is the last to go on, mostly because I'm nervous it won't fit, but the second the material crosses my skin, I'm in love. The color matches perfectly, its material conforming to the curves of my body, cinching in at the waist and flowing outward at my hips. Jess couldn't have chosen a more perfect dress.

Briefly, I flashback to the night of the Christmas party, how I'd worn my red lipstick just to spite Lucas, and it reminds me how far I've come. Never again will I let a man dictate what I do or wear, and luckily, with Milo, I would never have to worry about that anyway. He's not the type of man to look at my outfit and make me cover up. He's the type to step forward, eyes alight, and tell me how beautiful I look.

The ball is held in the building opposite where the Christmas party was held. I wait for the Uber to stop and climb out, lifting my dress. Closing the door, I turn to the skyscraper, catching myself in the shiny glass exterior, and realize I look like a princess; I just hope I can find my prince.

The elevator takes me to the top floor and opens to the ballroom. I step forward into the crowd of tuxedos and gowns, taking in the high vaulted ceilings and its pink scalloped edgings. At the far end of the ballroom, tucked away beneath an archway of white roses, is the open bar, its sleek pink surface covered in premade cocktails – Jess has gone all out.

"There you are." I turn to find Jess in an egg-blue princess dress that reminds me of Cinderella. If I didn't know better, I'd say she chose this theme just so she could get away with wearing that dress.

"Wow," I say, "you look amazing. This place is amazing." I gesture around like I can't quite believe it. "This must have cost a fortune."

"It did," she says, "but I sweet-talked my parents into paying for most of it. It is my thirtieth, after all."

I roll my eyes. Sometimes I forget that Jess's parents are loaded. "Have you seen–"

"Milo?" Her eyes soften. "Not yet."

I try not to appear disappointed – this is Jess's night, after all – and take her hand before leading her to the dance floor. We dance for a while, downing champagne and mingling with her friends and having fun, the kind of fun I used to have before I met Luke – the kind of fun I had with Milo.

At one point, when I've grown exhausted, and my heels start to hurt, I dip away from the excitement and head into the elevator foyer, which leads to an outside patio. Once outside, I lean on the railing, taking in the views of New York as it twinkles below me. Tonight has been the most fun I've had in a long time, and the only thing that's missing, the only thing that could make my heart feel even fuller, is if Milo were here.

Disappointed, I pull out my phone to check if he's messaged, but he hasn't. I think about messaging him, something like I heard you were coming to this party, but I don't want us to get into anything over text. If he doesn't show up tonight, I'll have to visit him tomorrow and hope it's not too late.

I sigh and put my phone away, breathing in a cold lungful of air before heading back inside. I'm about to make my way back into the ballroom when the arrow on the elevator pings, rendering me still.

The doors slide open, and Milo steps out at the same time I step forward. Our eyes connect, and time seems to stop. I've spent most of this evening wishing he'd show, and now he's been dropped in my lap.

A/N

One more chapter to goooooo.

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