I Promise it Gets Better

Chapter 1

"Some memories never leave your bones, like salt in the sea: they become part of you - and you carry them" - April Green

I wake up to the sound of beeping. I have an IV in my arm and I realize that I'm in a hospital. Then it hits me. The memories of this afternoon come flooding back. I look around my little hospital room. There are machines all around me, and to my right I see my mother sitting in an uncomfortable looking chair. A nurse walks in.

"Hey! You're awake. Shortly a psychiatrist will pop up on this machine and talk to you okay?"

I nod my head.

"If you need anything, just ask!"

She walks out, leaving behind a tablet with wheels that reminds me of plankton's computer wife from SpongeBob. I turn to my mom.

"How are you feeling?", she asks me.

"I've been better," I reply.

"I'm really tired though," I continue.

"Well, that's what happens when you down about a quarter of Benadryl, Motrin, and Mucinex," she answers.

"Hey now, let's not forget the 70% isopropyl alcohol, and the 2 aspirins," I sarcastically reply.

"By the way, your dad texted. He says that he loves you and misses you," she tells me.

"Tell him I said I miss and love him too," I reply.

"Are you hungry?" she asks.

"Nah, hospital food sucks."

"I can go out and get food, if you'd like?"

The idea of being alone in a hospital room surrounded by beeping machines and strangers coming in and out, with no one I know to support me isn't a particularly appealing thought.

So I say, "Nah it's okay I'm not that hungry anyways"

"Okay, well if you get hungry, your dad can stop by with food"

"Okay, sounds good"

We sit in silence for a moment before I ask, "So, what happens now?"

"Well, they want you to talk to a psychiatrist before anything else happens"

"I'm actually about to pass out, like I'm that tired. Can't I talk to them later, or at least take a little nap?"

"No, the psychiatrist should be on the call soon"

"okay"

We wait in silence for a while until the tablet lights up with a person's face. The camera attached starts rotating towards me.

"Hi Valentina," the doctor says.

"Hi," I reply.

"So, I just have a few questions for you and then we can proceed from there"

"Okay," I respond wearily.

"So, I looked at your file-"

I have a file now? I think to myself.

"- and I think it's best to start with why did you do it?"

He doesn't give me a chance to respond.

"You know the action you took was deadly, correct? It sounds like this was a suicide attempt, we take these very seriously," He pauses. "Did you do this knowing it could kill you, with the intent of harming yourself?"

I nod my head, guiltily. He speaks with my mom for a while about school and my feelings.

"Well, it seems that the best course of action is to send her to a facility, where she can get the help she needs," the doctor concludes.