Are you tired of aging? Is the daily grind of humanity ruining your aesthetic? Do you feel obsolete in an ever-changing world? Is the constant fear of wasting your limited youth ruining your weekend binge?
Immortality is the solution you've been lo...
The title I'm using here is from an angelspit song. The original title was 'the ballad of Dr. Kale' which was a silly placeholder so I grabbed a song lyric from one of my faves from back in the day.
This story was written by 15 year old me. Before you consider canceling me on Twitter for writing something that could be interpreted as morally bankrupt: I would absolutely look back and consider myself deeply mentally unstable from a young age. I suffered for way too long because I assumed much of what I felt was normal and I just needed to suck it up. Turns out, it was a clinical illness that could be treated. So please, despite the depressing and problematic tone of this story, do not pity me, or hate me, and instead, understand that it's possible to be happy and content even if the themes presented here do not reflect that. This story, while a time capsule of the era and the feelings I had back then, it doesn't reflect a realistic view on life or my current opinions.
Which should be clear because this is a story about vampires, a vampire surgeon who fucking EATS PEOPLE, and a broken kid who wants his pound of flesh. Seriously there's no reason to think of this story as anything but a very bloody and crazy ride but I thought I'd make it very clear.
Ps, the cake isn't a lie but it is people.
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Terminology (to be edited periodically)
Vampire types:
Type A- the classic vampire of fiction you've seen before. These are essentially modified human beings. This form passes on from blood, type a vampires are sterile and can't reproduce sexually. It is like a virus and can only be transmitted through substantial blood to blood contact. Usually done in a hospital as a blood transfusion.
Type A vampires are human in terms of psychological aspects. These vampires are difficult to kill, and heal moderately quick but do not have substantial regeneration abilities. The power is determined by age as well as the the age and strength of the vampire they were turned by.
They are injured by the sun and certain metals, however this is mitigated with use of modern sunscreens and careful avoidance of allergens. They're just weird humans and mostly harmless. It's fine to befriend them. In the past, before modern medicine and therapy, vampires were prone to psychological distress and could be violent. While there is no official vampire ruling body, most of them have no intentions to commit violent crimes anymore than any reasonable huma being.
Type B- very rare. Do not interact. These vampires have no actual biological relation to type A vampires, human beings, or anything else on earth for that matter. This form is not contagious, and type B vampires are made via sexual reproduction. You can't turn into one, you can only be born as one.
All type b's have naturally white/silver hair and luminescent green eyes. This can be changed with contacts and hair color. Those that interact with human beings regularly will either wear veneers or grind down their needlelike teeth. They don't exist solely on blood, they consume flesh and blood.
They have never been, and never will be human beings. They do not have the same brain structures or instincts as a human would and the amount of decency they have is largely determined by how well socialized they are with humans. Well socialized ones aren't much different than a type A. Unsocialized ones are mindless bloodthirsty cryptids.
They are nearly fucking unkillable, and exist as undefined tissue that [redacted] but inversely, they are not social creatures and very rarely reproduce or form romantic connections. It appears as though there is a natural hormonal reaction that makes all of them extremely violent with the opposite gender of their own species. There are remarkably few of them for this reason. They can not reproduce sexually with type A vampires or human beings.
If you see this kind, don't try to run. Pretend you don't notice they are not human, and move to a public location in which you can't be easily killed without witnesses.
Undefined Tissue: stem cells, basically. Taken from a type B vampire, this is tissue that rapidly forms on injury and is used to regenerate entire limbs and organs. This undefined tissue is the primary export of Dr. Kale's research.
