#KiddingMe Contest 2 Entry

#KiddingMe

If I could have any job in the whole wide world, it'd definitely be an alien translator!

Now, before you get bent out of shape about how that doesn't exactly, really exist, hear me out!

I mean, look at where we are right now! It's 2020! Anything is possible! With Covid-19 and all the other tragedies going on in the world, I'm looking forward to a positive advancement for us humans, aren't you? I think the next big thing  is going to be, you guessed it, ALIENS! 

Now, obviously they're not going to understand all of the extensive languages Earth has to offer, and that's where I come in! As of right now, I only know English, but by the time aliens stop being so shy, I'm pretty sure I'll know most, if not all of the languages on Earth. How hard can it be?

Once aliens do come, who I'm sure are very kind, civil beings, I'll be the first N.A.S.A. send up to their big spaceship to greet them. Hey, I call dibs! I'll welcome them warmly, bring them down into the atmosphere, and show them all around the globe! Of course, by that time it'll be considered a planetarial service to the human race, so we'll be flying first class, free, to where ever our friends want to go. Sure, I just made up the word "planetarial", but isn't that how languages start anyway? Maybe I'll make my own language while I'm at it! That's 2/6,500. See, I'm already like, 32.5 percent done with my job! I'm great at this!

There's literally nothing that could go wrong with my plan, all those evil alien movies are just Earth propaganda. I'm sure we've got nothing to fear, so I'll be the first to welcome aliens with open arms! The only slight drawback would be learning their language. I can't translate our language to theirs if I don't know it! Don't worry, though. I've never been one to retreat! Maybe it'll add a few more years to the studying aspect of the job, but I'd never give up on our alien friends!

Just you wait! I'll be the best, most famous alien translator in the universe!