Always been you

2020 (11)

I was good to leave 15 minutes ago but I couldn't make myself call Camila and see her.

I am a coward, I know.

"Good luck", Daisy yells from the stairs before going home. Of course she had asked what had happened and I had to tell her.

"Thanks", I murmur and look at my phone again.

Let's do this, Shawn.

I was fine hours ago, but she came to me and took matters into her own hands and left me feeling lost and confused. I didn't know what she wanted to talk about specifically or how she was going to address it, but prolonging the agony was just going to make it worse.

I take my phone and it rings in my ear two times before I can hear her on the other side.

"I'm done", I say as soon as she picks up.

"With work?", she asks confused.

"Yes, of course", I say. What else could I be done with? Definitely not with her.

"Right", she says. "Meet me outside?"

"Yep, I'm leaving", I reply and we both hang up.

I rub my face with my hands and take a deep breath before actually putting one foot in front of the other. She's waiting for me when I walk outside.

"Hi", Camila says.

"Hi", I reply nervously. Why is she making me so nervous now?

"Do you have your car?", she tilts her head waiting for an answer.

"Um, yeah. Want me to drive?", I say.

"Yes, please", she says softly, like if she was afraid I was going to tell her no and leave her there.

"Where are we going?"

"Home", she answers and for a second I believe she's talking about home but no. She means something else.

"Your place?", I frown. Why are we going there?

"Yes. I need to go there first. We can go somewhere else after I take care of something", she says misteriously and now I'm hooked.

I don't fight her, I don't tell her we can't go there and it's all because I'm too excited and curious to see more about her life here.

I lead the way and we get in my car. This car was the only thing that didn't scream how fucked up I had been the last months. I got it before everything went downhill and my dad, God bless him, helped me with the payment for a while.

Being in a car with her brings back more memories, but I try to push them away. I don't want to embarrass myself in front of her, not today, not now.

"No bike today?", I ask her because the silence is making it worse for me.

"No", she replies but doesn't give away any other piece of information.

Camila gives me directions on where to go to get to her house and, with every mile, I get more and more impressed. This is where she lives? It's not an over the top rich and fancy neighborhood, but definitely not one I couldn't afford anytime soon.

"Right here", she says and I park the car outside a white house with a Mediterranean style.

She gets out on her own and I open my door slowly, not really knowing if she's going to invite me inside or just take care of her business and go.

"Want to come in?", she says opening the door and leaving it like that, not really waiting for a reply.

"Sure", I whispered more to myself than anyone else.