After the War (Klance)

Chapter Five

Keith P.O.V.

I convinced Lance to let me leave the hospital as long as I came home with him and let him take care of me. It wasn't hard to let him. It was second nature to him. The way he just knew what to do to take care of me. The way he knew that he when to check my temperature, when to check my bandages, when I needed to eat, or even when I needed to go to the bathroom and how to help me do it. There were still so many things I didn't know about him. And I wondered how on Earth he knew all this stuff.

For some reason, as soon as we left the hospital later that day, we didn't talk about the kiss. In fact, we were both silent. We only said the bare minimum. For instance, he would ask if I wanted water, and I would say yes. Or he would ask if I was hungry, and I would say yes.

I knew I needed to make things up to him, it was so obvious to me now how much I had hurt him. I just didn't know where to begin. 

Two days went by with the both of us saying nothing, or at least nothing we needed to talk about. The silence was killing me. I had never kissed someone before. And I felt like it was something we should talk about. I wanted to ask him if I was as good as Allura. Or if, I could ever make up for what he lost in her. I didn't think I could, Allura was a space Princess, and I was the scoundrel that left him, twice. I wanted to thank him for saving me. I wanted to thank him for being honest with me. So many people lied to me so I wouldn't get angry, but it was what caused my anger. There was so much I wanted to say to him, that, I just didn't know where to begin.

One night while he was giving me a bath I decided I would be the first to talk. He was washing my long hair. It was relaxing, and I thought I'd use it to help me say the first words. "Lance," I could hear the small hitch in his breath. "Can we talk?"

"Yeah," he didn't stop gently washing my hair. 

"First off, I wanted to thank you. For several things. One, for healing me. Two, for telling me the truth, not a lot of people do. I think they're scared I'm just gonna get mad and blow up, but that's what makes me get mad and blow up. And third, for giving me a chance to make it up to you. It's gonna take awhile and I know that. But I'm really gonna try this time."

I could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke. "You're welcome Keith. And I meant what I said, I'm gonna hold you to that promise to make it up to me. I'm tired of being walked all over on."

I nodded slowly. "I'm sorry," he sigehd.

"Stop saying that," there was a small laugh in his voice, but I knew he was being serious.

"Okay, and," I took a deep breath. "About that kiss."

His hands stopped, and it was silent.

"It was," he held his breath. "Amazing."

"Was it,,, consensual?" I gulped, the last thing I wanted was to have forced myself on him.

"Yes," the smile in his voice was clear and it relaxed me. He started to wash my hair again. "But, I do want to set boundaries."

"Understood." I nodded, "what are they?"

"I don't want to kiss again until you prove to me I come before your work. I get that people need you, and I love that, but I need love and affection too Keith Kogane." It made me blush the way he used my full name like that. I was a man of twenty-eight and he had blushing like a schoolboy all over again.

I nodded in agreement, "that also means, I don't want to be in a relationship until I can trust you." I nodded again.

"That's fair," I was a little sad I would have to wait longer for him, but I understood. Lance was definitely worth the wait, and the effort.

"But no matter what happens, whether we become something or not, I want to have you as my friend." He slowly started to wash the soup out of my hair. 

"I want that too." I smiled, and he continued to wash me.

As he helped me stand up after I was clean, he looked at me. And it was different. This wasn't the first time he had seen me naked. In space, we'd had to change in front of each other, shower in front of each other, bandage each other, but it never really meant anything. Now, I knew how he felt about me. 

He placed his hands on my chest and looked at all of my scars. "When did you get all these?" I could hear the pain in his voice.

"I play with knives," I smiled a little, attempting to relieve the mood. He looked back up at me, my snide comment didn't do much to lift his mood.

"You need to be more careful." This time I smiled soflty, naturally. Seeing that he cared so much about me made me feel like it was worth surviving every mission, and fighting all those sleepless nights.

"I am," I took his hands into mine and looked into his deep blue eyes. "I'm okay Lance, I'm not dying anymore. I'm okay." He nodded, but I knew he wanted to cry. 

After he helped me get dressed I laid back down and for the first time, I asked him to turn on the t.v. "You want the television on???" Lance had his eyebrow raised and looked at me like I was crazy.

"Yeah, I haven't watched tv in ages. What's even on anymore?" We laughed together as he turned it on and sat at the edge of the bed. 

"Well, we don't get much out here, but there are some Grey's Anatomy reruns. All seventeen seasons." I laughed and he looked at me, "what??"

"Of course you would like that old classic." It didn't take long for him to pout.

"Hey! It's a good show, stop being such a Christina." 

"A Christina??" He looked appalled that I didn't know who that was. Immediately he crawled over next to me and turned on an old rerun channel that was playing the low quality shows from fifty-some years ago.

It didn't take long for him to get into the show. He of course commented on anything and everything. I for one, had no idea what was going on. Christina was with Owen, but Owen cheated. And then Torres was going through something, and so was Merideth and Derreck, but Avery and Kepner too. So much was going on, and yet, Lance knew everything. The tea on every character. I just laughed as he sat there and explained everything to me.

"So Christina wants kids and Owen doesn't?"

"Yeah."

"So then why are they together?"

"Because Owen loves her."

"But he wants kids."

"And?"

"Well if you want kids, you want them. It's not like you can just want kids and not have kids." He nodded and took in what I was saying.

"Do you want kids?" I hesitated to answer his question. But I immediately knew the answer.

"I've always wanted kids. I just, don't know if it's possible for me." I looked at him as he studied me, "what about you?"

Lance smiled softly. "Me too." I knew was struggling with the same thing as me, but I couldn't help be feel like at least he had the chance to have a baby with someone he loved if things didn't work out with me. "I think you'd be a great dad."

That made me smile, "you think so?"

"Yeah," he smiled back and laid down next to me. 

"Ya know, I lost my dad when I was young." I wasn't sad as I said this, although I usually was.

"To a fire right?" I nodded. "I'm sorry Keith, that must have been hard." He put a hand on my shoulder and rubbed his thumb softly against my skin. I took a deep breath. I missed being able to talk to him like this. And I was really glad I decided to break the silence.