All I Want (Harry Styles)

Chapter 1

I stand with my back against the door to my hotel room and let out long sigh. My thoughts are so jumbled that I can't even think strait. All I want to do right now is collapse onto one of my two king sized beds. So I do. I must fall asleep because I rise groggily to my feet at the sound of knocking on the heavy bolted door. God I hope its not Matt, I think to myself, but it wouldn't be too surprising because this is his room too and he doesn't know that I saw him with Kaylee. Again. At least he doesn't know yet.

"What the-?" Its not Matt. Actually, right now wish it was Matt. My exclamation broken off by lips slamming against mine. I try to push him away, but strong arms around me and refuse to let go. I stop my pointless struggle and allow myself to return his kiss. His arms wrap around my waist and my fingers tangle in his curly hair.

"Harry", I whisper against his mouth. Is it possible to hate someone so much but want them even more?

"Cass" he whispers back. I finally gather myself and manage to break away.

"What the hell are you doing here? ", I ask when I regain my composure. I can see the pain in his face. What is he doing here? This jerk left me months ago. Pushed me aside so that he could be free to "explore his options" while on tour with One Direction. After all we'd been through? And to think, I actually loved this guy at one time. That is if I believed myself when I repeated in my head time after time that I was "over Harry, and in loved with Justin who loves me too." Man, I've really gotta stop falling in love. My mom used to reprimand me for the unconditional trust I placed in people that in the end only let me down. The thought of my mom almost brings a tear to my eye, but I quickly get myself under control so that he wouldn't think my tears were being shed over his sorry ass. Believe me. Been there, done that.

Back in the now, Harry finally answers my abrupt question. "I came to tell you that I love you," he starts hesitantly, and then gains more confidence when I don't kick him out right away.

"And that I am beyond sorry, and I want, no I need the chance to explain." This pushes my already boiling anger over the edge.

"Explain what?'' I almost scream. Harry glances towards the still open door, but I don't care right now if the whole floor hears me. ''Explain why you left me? We were engaged Harry! To be freakin' married and you left!'' Now I'm getting pretty loud and an elderly couple strolling by glances warily at Harry. ''God damnit!'' I exclaim, throwing my hands in the air and finally letting out the pain of the last two years. ''I knew we wouldn't last Harry, heck I knew more than anyone how young we were, are, and how impulsive our engagement was but you left me waiting at the God damned alter!'' He flinches at my last statement, and I briefly wonder why that would have any affect on him whatsoever. He obviously didn't mind it before.

Harry

She thinks that I wanted to do it. Does she know me at all? Obviously not as well as she thought she did because never in her wildest dreams did she think that I would leave her on our wedding day. Well, eloping day. They all tried to tell us we were too young, too inexperienced in life, too this, too that. I didn't give a shit though because I was going to marry her if it was the last thing I did. And she liked that. She liked the ferocity that I fought for her with, the rebellious boy with the curly hair that was going to make damn sure that he was going to spend the rest of his life with the woman he loved. But they got to me, the voices that weren't hers. Her father, my mother, my band mates. They all said eighteen was too early to make a decision that would last a lifetime, but I told them that eighteen wasn't early enough. Not early enough to pledge myself to her. When One Direction began to take off, I panicked. I thought, 'I have to do this now, or she'll soon be tired of keeping up with my new way of life. Tired of the public eye,' She was already tired of the small amount of attention she drew from our X-Factor success, and I could see the toll that it was having on her. I decided that the only way to keep her from eventually getting tired of my fame and me would be to marry her. She all too happily agreed and only God knows why.