Harry Potter Oneshots

Asshole Prep (Ron x Dementor)

"Hermione, run!"
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This was the third attack on the school this month, the dementors have been running rabid, and for good reason. The students were recently informed that once every 100 year, those ghastly creatures go into a sort of breeding season where they aim to fuck just about anything. Bloody hell, just the other day I looked out to see one dry humping a centaurs leg, filthy creatures.

The dementors have managed to get themselves onto the school grounds, my god we need to better secure this place. Hermione and I are trying to run as fast and as far away as possible, while Harry holds them off with his patronus, that poor deer didn't have nearly enough time to prepare itself. As Hermione and I try to make our stealthy escape to... well... anywhere without these horny bastards, my ears are greeted with a familiar, clapping sound.

"Shit..."

There it was, what I was trying to avoid so desperately. The clap of my deliciously thick ass. The one time it doesn't come in useful. Fuck you dad, and your amazing genetics! As we continue to run, the sound only magnifies. I begin to panic, what if they hear it, will they come for us? Out of nowhere, an all too sudden chill fills the hallway, we are screwed.

"Hermione, run!"

I yell out in hopes to at least save my friend. She picks up her pace and I slowly succumb to the weight and fatigue. A strong, cold breeze runs down my back, causing every hair on my body to stand on edge. I shut my eyes tight and sharply exhale, already accepting my immediate fate, hopefully it will be a swift, painless death.

After about two minutes of freezing silence, I hesitantly open my eyes, instantly taken aback by what is looming in front of me.

"Bloody hell, she's gorgeous!"

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Congratulations. You made it to the end of the beginning. This is part one of the story "Sucking the Life (Out of Your Dick)"
This suitably titled 'Asshole Prep' is my way of letting you ease into the story, a mere sample of what is to come. All I have to say to you is...
Good luck Charlie.