Harry Potter Oneshots

Sorting Priorities (Dumbledore x Sorting Hat)

Yikes ⚠️noncon⚠️
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After a long day of dealing with that dumb, pink bitch, Albus was at his breaking point, not to mention that he was painfully horny.
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"Not because of the children or Regina George"

Sure Dumbledore, I believe you.
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Anyways, he was at his breaking point. Dumbledore locked himself in his study, trying to maintain his security in his time of need.

Albus was torn, though he was violently erect, he knew his hand would do nothing to ease his suffering. Glancing around the room he spotted few items that could be of assistance. There was a dragon skull, a small imp, a dumb house elf, Fawkes (but we're saving the Beastiality for later) and the Sorting Hat. Which, come to think of it, would be a far better option than something inanimate or grumpy. He had done it before with the hat, however, that was when it was in a sort of hibernation. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Albus approached the hat, poking it in the side gently. Startled, the hat opened its fabric mouth to speak, but got sidetracked by the obvious bulge emerging from Dumbledore's long, silky robes. Having sat on a shelf for years, with no sort of stimulation other than some quick human interaction once a year, the sexy sorter felt as though sleeping with the headmaster could be an interesting event. The hat knew of Albus' plans before the words left his mouth...

Within seconds, the hat was shifting itself closer to the silver fox, devilishly smirking up at the ancient man. Anxious for relief, Albus quickly de-robed himself, revealing his semi-hard, sad, old dick. His age may not be evident through the average person's eyes, but from the angle of the hat, it was obvious that this man was almost prehistoric. The Sorting Hat was thankful for his creator not giving him a stomach or a gag reflex, not because Albus was large, but because the poor hat felt as though he would be sick.

Just as Albus was preparing himself, the hat returned to its inanimate state, the same state it was in the first time Albus made an advance. A disappointed, yet horny Dumbledore refused to let this stop him. Hell, he didn't even need a roofie this time around....