Every Letter

The royal family

   Nathan sat at the dining table picking at his food, he usually ate his dinner every night and did as told but something had been on his mind. He had been thinking about all of the woman he could choose for marriage, but how none of them felt right. But he didn't know how to tell his father. Maybe he just hadn't found the right woman.

"Nathan why haven't you taken a bite of your food?" Nathans father said looking at Nathan, seeing him spacing off.

Nathan shook his head and snapped back in to it "Uh- I'm just not all that hungry tonight father.. I had a big lunch. May I be excused to my room?"

His father sighed and nodded, "You may be excused to your room."

Nathan stood up and nodded "Thank you." He walked up the stairs and down the hallway in to his room and shut the door. He took his blazer off and set it down on the back of the chair, then grabbed his journal and sat at his desk then dipped his quill in ink and began to write,

'May 03,
  I have been searching day and night for my one love. Though I know I shall be arranged with a princess, at least I have some choice in the matter. Our kingdom is slowly being drained of money by my fathers poor spending choices, I'm set to marry a wealthy kingdom by the end of this month. But I wish I could get love. Not just money. However everything I do should be in the name of the kingdom, so I'll make my decision at the soon arriving ball. It's an upperclass ball, I'm rather excited to meet people who aren't always in the palace, it's a rather rare sight for me to see towns people. But rest assured, I will meet my love at that ball. Even if shes not perfect.'

Nathan finished writing and set the quill down and sighed. He stood up and walked over to his bed and flopped on it trying to think about which princess would be right for him. But none fit. He eventually fell asleep with his clothes on, and not praying. Although it wasn't a prince thing to do, he was exhausted from the day, he'd deal with the consequences in the morning.

...

"Nathan? Nathan. Wake up, you fell asleep in your day clothes-" A maid shook Nathan gently trying to wake him up.
  Nathan sat up and rubbed his eyes a bit dozy because he had just woken up. He looked down and remembered he had fallen asleep in his clothes and looked back up and responded, "My bad, I must have been tired yesterday I fell asleep rather quickly. It wont happen again. You're free to leave.." He said fixing his shirt. He watched the maid leave the room, then stood up and walked to his wardrobe. He looked through his clothes and found an outfit. He took his tie off and unbuttoned his shirt. He took his shirt off and grabbed a new one and buttoned it up, then put his tie on and a vest. He then put a new blazer on. He took his pants off then grabbed his new pair and put them on, putting a belt on. He folded his dirty clothes and set them on the bed. He quickly put his shoes back on and walked out.

Nathan walked down the hallway trying to fix his hair in a hurry he quickly went in to the dining room and saw breakfast was ready "Sorry for being late to breakfast father I woke up a tad late-" He said sitting down putting his napkin on his lap.
   "Its alright just don't do it again." His father said "Now let us say grace."
  Nathan nodded and folded his hands and lowered his head. "Lord heavenly, please bless thou with a good meal, richness, and luck throughout the day. Bless this food and bless our souls, in the lords name we pray, amen." He rose his head and grabbed his fork and took a bite of his food. The room only had him and his father in it, yet the table had 2 empty seats. They had barely talked about it. About why those seats were empty. Nathan looked over at the empty chair where his mother sat then looked over at his father, "Father.. why do we never talk about mother and Charles?"
  His father looked over at Nathan and looked at the chairs "What is there to talk about? They have passed, we've discussed. They are both no longer with us so there's no reason to discuss them unless its a lecture.."

Nathan looked sad remembering everything in the past he clutched his fork harder. Thinking about how his father always blamed him for both of their passings, saying that if Nathan had just convinced Charles not to run away he'd still be here. His father said Nathan was selfish because he didn't sacrifice himself in the name of his mother, the queen. Nathan was in the room when his mother died. He was only 13. His father and mother had always been targets considering they were the king and queen. One day someone had managed to break in. Nathan, his father, and his mother were all in the study, reading a book together. That was his last memory of being genuinely happy. When all of the sudden a man walked in the study, he believed it was a guard and so did his mother and father. When his mother asked what he was doing in here, he stabbed his mother in the heart. His father rushed to her, trying to help her, when he got stabbed in the shoulder. He remember hearing screams and cries, but everything felt slow. He looked in the eyes of the person who had just murdered his mother. The man grabbed his sword and almost stabbed Nathan, when guards rushed in and detained him.

Around 6 months after the incident his father was fully healed but his mother had passed only 3 hours after to being stabbed. His father would blame it on him, believing he secretly let the guard in, and saying Nathan wanted his father dead. Some nights his father would slap him or punch him, so Nathan was determined to fit his fathers image so the abuse would stop. It never stopped, but it got less physical as the years went on. Nathan laid in bed at 15, starting to believe it was his fault, starting to blame everything that happened to him, that happened to his brother, and that happened to his parents was his fault. He just didn't know it.