Dusk

Chapter 1

Few years later...
I woke up feeling pretty pleased with myself. I sat up in my bed and rubbed my eyes sleepily. It took my brain quite some time to completely process the fact that today was my birthday and that I was sixteen! When the fogginess in my brain had cleared, I jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs into the kitchen where I knew my dad would be. As always, he had an apron tied to his waist and was whisking some eggs when I got there.
"Dad! I'm sixteen!" I said, hugging him from behind. The effect of that was that the bowl of eggs almost poured to the floor.
Dad carefully dropped the bowl on the work surface and turned to face me.
"Happy birthday princess," he said, picking me up and swirling me around as though I weighed nothing. He did this on every of my birthdays for as long as I can remember and I loved it. In fact, I was grinning like a little child right now.
But when he dropped me, I pouted and said "Dad! I'm a big girl now. You have to stop lifting me off my feet. I'm sixteen now you know."
"Whatever you say, princess. Just go take a shower and come help your old man down here. I'm baking a chocolate cake just how you like it. Hurry up 'cause the guests will soon start arriving."
"Argh Dad!" I thought to myself but said nothing. He knew I hated the kitchen and that I also hated parties (or get togethers as he tried to disguise them as), but he always made me come down to the kitchen to help him. And on every of my birthdays, he threw parties for me (although he disguised them as get togethers).
I reluctantly dragged myself to my room where I took off my pink pajamas. It was my favorite since Nana (my maternal grandmother) had gotten it for me as a present on my last birthday. It said I love you in bold white italics and had white hearts scattered around it. That was how Nana felt about me. She loved me as much as I loved her. I draped myself in my bathrobe which was pink as well (i loved pink, duh! I'm a girl for fuck's sake! What girl doesn't love pink?) and I truged along to the bathroom. As I passed, i stopped at the mirror, silently admiring myself (I was a very pretty little lady).
My face was as smooth as satin even though I didn't use any skin care product (although Joan had been persuading me to use some that she had been suggesting quite a lot). There was no sign of acne, freckles or anything of that sort. I always thanked the good Lord for that. My eyes were definitely almond-shaped. My eyes were icy blue in color (same with my Nana's). My dark hair did the job in bringing out the color of my eyes. My lips were well curved and shapey, and although my lips were not pink, they were not dark either. I liked to say that my lips were every man's fantasy (lol🤣).
I removed the ribbon holding my hair back in a loose ponytail and it fell gracefully to my shoulders. I raked through my hair with my fingers, loosening the roughness in my curls. Although I couldn't see the rest of my body in the mirror because the mirror was a half length one, I knew I was endowed in all the right places. My boobs were full and bouncy. They were just the right size for my age. I was teased once by Joan that my backside was a landslide and it stuck. I couldn't help but see my ass as that- a landslide.
"Princess! Aren't you done yet?"
Dad! Grumbling, I dragged myself into the shower. I loved taking showers because I the shower, I was left alone to my thoughts. Every care in the world was forgotten once I stepped into the shower. The water pouring down was cool, and as it came down, it felt as though all my problems were being was he away with the water. It was my daily ritual. It took me an hour max. to take my bath, but I took thirty minutes today 'cause I knew Dad was waiting for me.
I quickly put on some body cream Dad had bought me a few weeks ago. I loved it's fragrance. It was that of lavender (my favorite flower in the world). I wore a bright (very, very bright) orange crop top and a dark blue denim shorts. I blew dry my hair with a hand dryer, and when it was dry, I massaged in some hair oil. I thought of packing my hair with a ribbon, but I decided to let it fall. I looked at my dresser. I spotted a lot of makeup stuff that I never used (that is because I hated the stuff) and just shook my head. If only Joan was here. She would have demanded I put on every makeup I could lay my hand on. Thinking of her, I smiled as I slid my feet into the orange fluffy slide by my dresser.
"Aww princess! You look very pretty!" Dad was just flattering 'cause I pretty much looked this way pretty much everyday. "But I thought you would wear that dress I bought you seeing that you have a party...uh...get together to host and also 'cause you've never worn the dress."
"Daaad! You know I hate dresses!"
Just as Dad was about to argue, we heard the doorbell ring.
"I'll get it!" I shrieked, heading for the door and hoping it would be my best bud, Joan. I opened the door, and yep! She was the one.
"Happy birthday, Cee!" she exclaimed, throwing herself at me. I could hardly breathe, and sensing that, she pulled back immediately. "I'm so happy for you, Cee!"
With that, she brushed past me into my house as though she owned the apartment. Well, she pretty much did. She was no longer a stranger to these walls. Then and only then did I realize that her little brother, Oscar, had been standing behind her the whole time.
"Hi, Clara. Happy birthday."
"Thank you, Oscar."
With that, he shoved a gift he had been holding at me and went into the house. Oscar was barely eleven and he was already bubbling over with an attitude. I could hardly blame him, though. The boy did love his videogames, and being literally dragged away from it to come attend some lame birthday party every year would be pretty unnerving (not that my birthday parties were lame or anything). I shut my mouth which I had left open in surprise, shut the door and found my way back to the kitchen.
I carefully dropped the box Oscar had handed me on the kitchen table. It was carefully wrapped in a pink glittering wrapper with a beautifully done purple bow on top of it. I couldn't help but wonder what Joan bad gotten me this time.
I wasn't surprised to see that Joan had gotten an apron for herself and was happily helping Dad out in the kitchen. She loved being in the kitchen, and she loved cooking! Sometimes Dad said he wished Joan was his daughter, and although I knew he was joking, I felt a twinge of jealousy (I was not wrong to feel jealous now or was I?🤷)
"Gosh Cee!" said Joan, strolling over to get a box of something I didn't know from the other side of the kitchen. "You've got yourself such a cool dad here. I wish my dad will cook with me for once in his lifetime. And why weren't you helping out poor Mr. Hamilton here in the kitchen? And gosh, Cee, what are you wearing?" she said all in one breath.
"That was the exact same thing I asked her," replied Dad as though Joan had been talking to him.
"Guests will soon start arriving, Cee. You need to get dressed. What do you have in that wardrobe of yours? We'll talk about that after I'm done here. You can start decorating the living room, Cee. And Oscar, help her out will you?" she said again in one single breath. She glanced at me and said, "Gosh, Cee! You look like a fashion disaster!"
'Shut the fuck up!'I wished I could yell at her. But I couldn't, so I just walked out of the kitchen meekly with Oscar trailing behind me. The box of decorations were already sitting in the living room waiting for us, so we set to work immediately.
"I know how you feel, Clara," said Oscar, startling me, and almost making me jump out of my skin. "Joan has always had this air of possessiveness around her, and sometimes I kinda hate her 'cause she always has Mom under her spell- what with her cooking and cleaning. Don't feel bad, Clara, 'cause at the end of the day he's still your dad."
Oscar had never spoken to me this long, and I swear I was very surprised that he knew exactly how I was feeling.
"Thanks, Oscar, for these kind words of yours," I said, and we continued our work in silence.
After twenty long minutes that seemed like eternity to Oscar and I, we saw that we were through decorating. We were both very exhausted and hungry, and so we dragged our tired selves to the kitchen. I saw that Dad and Joan were chatting heartily while making punch. They hadn't even noticed that we had come into the kitchen. I frowned and went straight to the fridge to grab two juice boxes for Oscar and I. I handed Oscar one of the juice boxes and walked over to some freshly baked jam rolls kept on a tray to cool and picked one up. That was when Dad and Joan felt our presence.
Joan slapped my hand and said, "Drop that back, silly girl!" I shot her one very angry look with fire in my eyes. This was my house after all and I will do whatever pleases me. She noticed the look I shot her, and so did Dad, and she said, "Hey, what's with that look? Stop it! You're spooking me out!"
"Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies! Let's stop this, OK? Joan, why don't you take Clara up to her room so that she can get dressed? Everyone will soon be here. Oscar and I can finish up whatever's left down here," said Dad, coming between our almost brawl.
We sulkily dragged ourselves up to my bedroom.
"Cee," said Joan, settling into my bed with a loud "thump", "I think you should go take a shower before getting dressed. After all that work, you should be all sweaty by now."
"No!" I said with as much hate as I could muster, that I was surprised at myself. A glance at Joan made me realize that she was as surprised as I was. I said no not because I didn't want to take a shower (I actually really wanted to), but because I didn't want to keep on obeying Joan's orders like I was her douche.
"Clara," said Joan,walking up to where I stood, "what exactly is your problem? You've been acting up since I walked into your house this morning. What have I done?"
"Don't you dare ask me what my problem is 'cause you're the one with all the problems. You walk into my house like you own it and begin cooking with my father, chatting with him and bonding with him like he were your own father. If you really want to bond with someone, go find your father, wherever he might be!"
"Cee! How could you be so cruel? How could you say something this heartless?"
With that, she ran out of my bedroom and out of my house. I fell back flat into my bed and began regretting the things I said immediately.
Joan's dad had left them when she was seven. Not that her parents were divorced or anything, they were just separated. He only came to visit when it suited him, and he never hung around long. The worst part of it was that no one knew where he was and if he had a new family. We knew better than to talk about it, but in my anger, I had said it. I felt horrible. I felt like kicking myself.
Just then, I noticed someone standing by my door. I stood up from my bed and sat back down.
"Dad," I said tiredly.
"Princess," he said, walking towards my bed and sitting beside me, "I heard everything that happened. Luckily for you, I was able to get her to stay a little. She's sitting on the porch in case you have anything to tell her."
I looked at Dad so lovingly I could eat him up. What on earth could I do without my hero? "Thanks a lot, Dad," I finally said, getting up from my bed and reaching out to give him a hug at the same time. I raced to the porch and saw Joan sitting there, head bent and crouching her knees.
"Hey, best friend," I said with a smile in my voice, trying to make light of the moment. It was a feeble attempt 'cause I didn't feel a teeny-weeny bit close to how I was trying to sound. "Mr. Giggles asked me to call you in."
Even that didn't make her smile, and that was when I realized that Joan was very upset with me. Mr. Giggles was our imaginary friend ever since we were little kids, and now that we have grown, we use him to appease each other when we get on each other's nerves. You knew things were very serious when you cannot appease the offended party with Mr. Giggles, and this was such a situation.
I frowned as I took my place beside her,careful to be an arm's length away from her in case she tried to hit me (which she never would but one can't be too careful now can they?)
"Joan," I started nervously, "I'm really sorry for everything I said. I swear I am. I just got really jelly when I saw the way you were bonding with my dad. I just felt you had no right to be all mushy with him." I paused (duh! I wasn't like Joan who could read a whole book without stopping for breath). "I had no right to bring up your dad but I did and I know you must be really mad at me and trust me you have all the right to but I want you to forgive me. Even if we don't turn out to be best friends anymore, I can live with that. But what I can't live with is the fact that you stop talking to me and that you don't forgive me."
Jo looked at me with teary eyes.
"Clara...you messed up big time."
"I know and I'm sorry."
"But I forgive you. It's not totally your fault, you know. Even Oscar hates me sometimes and I know it. I'm very possessive and it can be unnerving. I'm sorry, Clara. I'll try to keep my distance from your dad from now henceforth. I just don't want to lose my best friend in the world for any reason. I'll do anything you want me to do. And anything you don't want me to do, I won't do it. I swear. I'm sorry again."
Before long, we were locked in a warm embrace with tears dripping from our eyes.
"You don't need to be sorry, Jo. I'm the one at fault," I said, still locked in Joan's embrace and inhaling the flowery scent of her hair lotion. She pushed me away.
"Enough with all these emotional shit, Cee. We have a party to get ready for," she said and then whooped in excitement.
We stood up from the porch where we were sitting and went into the kitchen.
"Alright, Mr. Hamilton. We're going to get dressed. See you in a jiffy," Jo said to my dad. I winked at him in the most loving way possible and followed Joan to my room.
"First off," Jo said, rummaging through my wardrobe, "you need to take a shower."
"You stink!" she added, and we both laughed.
"Sir, yes sir!" I said, grabbing my bathrobe.
Joan kept on rummaging through my wardrobe while humming a tune. In no time, I was done. I came out of the bathroom dripping (sexily wet as Jo and I called it😂😋) and was very pleased with what I so. Typical of Jo eh? She had carefully laid out the dress Dad had bought me months ago which I hadn't worn since then. It was sunflower yellow and was patterned with white sunflowers. She had also kept my white sandal heel which I hardly ever wore by the side of my bed. She picked out my jewelries for me. A loop earring was lying on the bed, and beside it was a cute charm bracelet Jo and I had bought at a dollar store last summer. The necklace she laid out for me was the one she had gotten me for my last birthday. It said "Cee" on the pendant. There was also a beautiful yellow ribbon waiting for me.
"Oh, Joan! You didn't have to do all this. You're working yourself up over nothing."
"Shut up, girl!" she said, handing me my bottle of body cream. "Your sixteenth birthday isn't nothing. You're only sixteen once, girl!"
I didn't want to argue further so I just raised up my hands in mock surrender and concentrated on massaging my body cream into my skin properly. When I was through, I put on my Victoria's Secret undies and left myself in Jo's care.
"Get yourself dressed up,Cee. You're not a baby anymore."
I grinned and got into my dress. Jo helped me with the zipper and when she was done, I twirled.
"Aww, you look cute already," she said, blushing on my behalf.
"Stop teasing, Jo. I look as scruffy as scruffy can be."
To that she said nothing. Instead, she went ahead to get my hairdryer and hair cream. It was time to do my hair. She got a few combs and some hair pins and then pushed me into the chair in front of the dresser. She began doing what she knew how to do best.
"I've told you, Cee, that your skin care products and hair care products are not the best for you. I've recommended some for you. Why don't you try them out?"
I rolled my eyes. 'Here we go again,' I thought to myself.
"Firstly, I am not that kind of person who takes all these things as seriously as you do. And by the way girl, the prices of those things are wayyy above the roof."
"Don't you dare talk about price, girl, 'coz your dad is ready to settle all the expenses. Anything for his princess, remember?"
Yeah, she was right about that.
"I'll think about it,"I said finally. That was always how I ended such conversations with Joan.
In no time, she was done with my hair. She had pulled back my hair into a ponytail which she held in place with the yellow ribbon. She had put a lot of hair pins in my hair, so much that I was beginning to look like a little flower.
"Oh, I love it Joan!"I exclaimed.
"Wait until I'm done with your face,"she replied modestly.
Although I hated makeup, I didn't argue. It was a tradition for Joan to make me up on every single one of my birthday parties.
Powder here, brushes there and Joan was done in no time.
"You look so beautiful, Cee!"shrieked Joan.
I looked at the mirror but my hate for makeup clouded my sense of good judgment. I couldn't see the beauty in me, so I just muttered a quick thank you and turned away.
"Put on your shoes and meet me downstairs,"Joan said and left me alone to my thoughts.
I opened my dresser and took out a picture of a stunning woman-my mother.
"Hey, Mum," I said,sitting at the edge of my bed. "It's my birthday today. I'm 16! Yay! I should be a lot happier than I am now but I feel really down and you know why. It's 'coz it was on this same day ten years ago you left us. Dad is trying to act all strong, cooking and planning a party for me, but I know that deep down he misses you more than words and so do I. I really do wish you were here, especially now that I'm having a hard time at school and all, but I know that everything happens for a reason and that wherever you are, you are proud of me." It felt as though there was a lump in my throat so I swallowed hard. The lump was still there but I continued anyway. "I hope you find peace over there. We here on earth will never forget you. I love you, Mum."
A tear escaped from my eye, but I was quick to wipe it off, careful not to mess up my makeup. I sat motionless for a minute, trying to gather my scattered emotions. When I had gotten a hold of myself, I got up, put on my shoes and headed straight for the kitchen.
"Hi, everyone,"I said, trying to get everybody's attention. Dad gasped and dropped the empty tray he was holding noisily on the floor.
"My God, Clara! You look exactly like your mum on our first date!"
"I hope that is a good thing."
"Of course, princess. You look gorgeous!" Turning to Joan, he gave her a big papa bear hug. "Thank you for everything, Jo."
Joan turned bright pink and smiled broadly.
"The guests have started arriving," he continued, still staring at me with adoration written in his eyes."Go say hi to the ones in the living room."
I walked carefully to the living room and saw my Nana sitting on the couch, clutching a big box (my present, obviously).
"Nana!" I scream, jumping on her. "I'm so happy you made it!"
"Clara, I'm an old woman now you know. Keep on jumping on me and I'll just pass on one of these days," she said and we both chuckled. "How's my favorite person in the world doing? You look beautiful, Clara, just like your mother." Silence. "Well here's your gift. Happy birthday baby girl,"she said, handing the box over to me.
"Thank you, Nana. I'm so happy you're here."
"I'm happy as well. Ever since your mum passed on I swore I was going to attend your sixteenth birthday party, and here I am. Go enjoy your party, baby and leave your old woman. I ain't gonna be the one to make your party lit," she said, mimicking the lead actor in one of the many movies we had watched together. We both laughed and I gave her one last hug before going around saying hi to everyone in the room, receiving happy birthdays here and there, and occasionally, gifts.
Before long, the room was full. I could recognize some friends from school, some of my schoolmates I hardly ever talked to (who on earth invited them for fuck's sake?), few cousins who also lived in LA like we did, some uncles and aunts, neighbors, Dad's business associates and well wishers. Finally, I saw Jason.
I was standing beside Joan when he walked in. I didn't invite him so who did? I crossed my fingers, hoping Joan wouldn't see him because I knew she was going to make a scene, but unfortunately for me, she did. She nudged me with her elbow and whispered "Jason's here!" before waving at him and calling out to him.
"Hey, Jason," she said before I could process what was going on. I could see him walking over to us and my legs suddenly felt wobbly. I didn't know what to do. The way Joan was smiling sheepishly made me realize that she invited him over.
"Remind me to kill you later," I said to her under my breath through clenched teeth, and she just smiled.
Why all the fuss, you might want to ask. Well, I'll tell you. Jason is every girl's ideal dream guy. He is six feet tall with broad shoulders and skin the color of caramel. He has a well defined jawline, a set of perfect big white dentition and a very shaped nose that helped accentuate his high cheekbones. He has ebony black hair that sits flat on his head and is always silky (though I have never touched it) and shining sexily (lol)...and yeah...I have a huge crush on him.
I could go on and on, but wait...he's talking to me.
"Hey, Clara. Happy birthday," he said, handing me a small carefully wrapped box.
"Thank you," I managed to mutter, taking the box from him. We stood, facing each other and saying nothing, an awkward silence between us. I didn't even notice that Jo had slipped into the mass of people and we were alone in the midst of many.
"Uhm, Clara, do you want to get out of here?" Jason asked finally.
'Earth to Clara, dummy,' I said in my mind, mentally slapping myself for zoning out on him that way.
"Yeah, that would be nice," I said in a mouse-like voice.
Jason led the way and I followed timidly behind him. Everybody was so engrossed in whatever it was they were doing that they didn't notice the birthday girl leaving her own party with a boy.
'So much for being celebrated, huh?' I scoffed under my breath.
"Where are we going?" I had finally found my voice and was able to talk to Jason. I was getting worried 'coz we were beginning to leave the parts of town I knew behind and going into weird streets.
"You'll see," Jason said, a smile tugging at his lips. He glanced at me and saw the worry etched on my face. "Oh, don't be scared, Clara. I would never hurt you."
As if to prove his point, he laced his fingers through mine. They were soft and warm, and I could feel my defenses dissolving. I was ready to fall into a pit as long as I did it with this guy holding my hand.
We engaged in little conversations, talking about school and life in general. He teased me a lot, and I found myself grinning from ear to ear.
Jason finally came to an abrupt halt and I felt myself halting too since our fingers were still intertwined.
"Here we are," he said, and for the first time since we stopped, I looked up to the enormous sign above our heads.
The dilaptated sign read LEASUR ARK as some of the letters were missing, and it took me quite some time to realize that it once read PLEASURE PARK. So much for a romantic first date. Wait what? What am I thinking? He never said this was a date. We are just two friends..."hanging out".
I finally decided to put myself out of misery.
"What is this? I mean what are we doing here? Is this supposed to be a date or something?"
Jason looked at me, a confused expression written on his face. Way to go, Cee. Always messing things up by saying the wrong things. He must think I'm stupid right now.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. I just..."
"Sshh..."said Jason, bringing his face so close to mine that I closed my eyes, expecting him to lean in and kiss me. Sure enough, the kiss never came. I only opened my eyes when I felt a warm, long finger on my lips, silencing me. "You're ruining the moment. This could be a date or whatever you want it to be. I don't really do labels. I just wanted to bring you to my favorite place. Nobody else knows about this place except me."
'And now I do too,' I thought to myself, loving the intimacy.
Jason went ahead of me and pushed the rusty gate with his hands. The creaking noise it made frightened me 'coz the only thing I could imagine was the damned thing falling on the both of us. It wouldn't be so bad, though, coz we'll die like that Romeo and Juliet couple they made us read about in Literature class...a couple in love, dying together. I smiled to myself and noticed Jason beckoning on me to follow him.
I did just that and fell into step beside him. The whole place looked really deserted and smelt funny.
"Jason? Why are we here of all places?"
Jason suddenly stopped walking and looked at me. I couldn't really decipher the look on his face. Was that anger I just saw flashing on his face or was it...hurt? Why would a simple question hurt him?
"'Coz I fucking love this place, Clara, that's why."
"I'm sorry, Jason. I didn't mean to..."
He stopped me and stormed off in anger, and I could do nothing but mope at him as he left.
Weird!
When I finally got myself together, he was already long gone and I didn't know where to start searching for him.
I was alone and scared to death. The park was far too big and I didn't know my way around. Ferris wheels and popcorn machines lay scattered around the scarred grasses.
'