The Suicide Pact (on hiatus)

Chapter 9

They walked to her house in silence. Lane tried to speak to her, but Tabitha refused to talk. He tried to offer to carry her half way there, but she refused that as well. He wasn’t sure why. Was she mad at him for beating Archie half to death? He was sort of upset at himself for taking it as far as he did in front of her, but he didn’t know what came over him. His anger got the best of his emotions and he’d lost complete control. Seeing her bloody and choked had nearly drove him insane. This girl in general was driving him insane.

Lane made sure to walk her up the stairs to her apartment. He knew that he had to say goodbye, as badly as he didn’t want to. More than anything he wanted reassurance that she was going to be okay, but he wasn’t getting that from her. He’d never seen Tabitha so broken. She took bullshit from people every single day at school and never did she break. To see her so vulnerable made Lane feel uneasy about the entire situation.

Before she walked inside she turned to face him. The blood from earlier stained her face and her eyes were still red from all of her crying. Her large blue eyes were still filled with tears as she refused to look him in the eyes. She was shaking and Lane wasn’t sure if it was from the cold or from the event that had just taken place. Either way he wanted to make it stop, he just didn’t know how.

“Tabitha-” He said, taking a step forward but she stopped him by taking a step back.

“This was all my fault, Lane.” She breathed, cold fog coming from her mouth as she spoke. “I’m sorry. I-I’ve never been so sorry in my life.” The more she spoke, the more the tears in her eyes worsened.

Lane took a step closer to her and held her face as he leaned forward bringing his closer to hers. “This wasn’t your fault. I don’t know if you noticed, but you were the victim here.”

She closed her eyes as the tears streamed down her cheeks. “That’s the thing. I don’t want to be the victim anymore, Lane! I’m sick and tired of being the weak one.” She began to slowly shake her head, still refusing to look at him. “I can’t wait until the Winter Formal. I’m sorry, Lane, I can’t. I’m done. There’s nothing left for me here-”

He shut her up the only way he knew how. By crushing his lips down onto hers. He wasn’t sure if this was the best idea after all she’d just been through, but he no longer had control of himself and he no longer cared how much he didn’t want to like her. He was through with that. He liked this girl and he could finally admit it to himself. There was no denying how much he cared for her. It scared the shit out of him, but it was the truth. He cared for her more then he did himself.

His knees went weak when she kissed him back. Her lips were both soft and cold against his as she gently puckered them to meet his own. Lane had never wanted to protect someone so badly, to shelter them from all of the bad in the world. But he knew that he couldn’t. He couldn’t save her from her own demons. He could feel it in her kiss. She was willing but timid, refusing to give her all.

Finally she pulled away, leaving him breathless as he stared at her.

“Come inside.” She whispered as she reached over to grab his hand.

He didn’t object. He let her lead him inside the warmth of her apartment. A woman, who he assumed to be her mother was laying on the couch asleep with another man’s arms wrapped around her. Tabitha gestured for him to be quiet as she sneakily led him down a hall and into her bedroom.

Lane smiled as he stood in the middle of her bedroom, while she closed the door behind the two of them. He took a few steps further in, gazing at the drawings hanging from her pink walls. Lane took even further steps inside so that he was now face to face with the drawings in front of him.