GOD OF SELF
**
Standing here on the edge, the wind in my ears!
I am gazing down, casting doubt on all my fears
*
Where've you gone? I wanted you to come back
Birds sing the morning songs, my mind cracked
*
Scream at me until I can't feel it! I wanna bleed!
Is it a father they need? Too blind to plainly see!
*
My memory has faded but I have finally made it
Wait for your father, girl! Please, just be patient!
*
Daddy has a few issues! I've gotta fight it all out
I'm standing now listening to you cry and shout
*
Without you all in my life! I am free of restraints
But is that what I need? Can this sick pain wait?
*
As I fade away, those caves within me enlarged!
Step back from that ledge? Hungry and starved
*
It's murder, god damn murder! Ideas corrupted
My world beneath my feet, completely erupted!
*
Daddy has to take this leap of faith now, honey!
Just do not forget my face but enjoy my money
*
I'll sacrifice the life for them! All my kin tonight!
To show them I can be strong! I'll win that fight!
*
So mom just why the fuck are you crying there?
You truly wanna act now like you actually care?
*
That is what I always wanted! That is all I knew!
You never gave a shit, you did not know how to!
*
Now the music can play, now freedom can ring!
Watch the angels dance! Listen to them all sing!
*
So speak about my life, tell them all how I tried!
Allow society to comfort YOU! Live it up tonight
*
A hole opens up as the world escapes my grasp!
Falling into your void of solitude! I've collapsed!
*
My mind is free as the eagles, I harbor no regret!
So call the ambulance as my feet leave the edge
**
Dagger Darkstar/ December 21, 2020
YOU ARE READING
GOD OF SELF: a poem
PoetryThe fear of dying is very real and certainly keeps teenagers awake every night.
