It's a journal... not a diary

Lmao 1 year later

So...

I don't really know, *sigh*

You know 2020 is a bitch, but like it hasn't been that much of a bitch as much as it has to other people. My awkwardness has skyrocketed and my inability to correctly form sentences while talking to people especially adults has drastically increased. I don't know, my mind is a big jumble and I'm always questioning my emotions and I feel like writing it down on paper is going to confuse me even more but it might do the opposite. It might bring some clarity or I might just be wasting time.

OK ignoring everything else in the world 🗺 (i've never seen that emoji before) , I went to the mall with my father and brother and this guy working at the entrance tune in the vans store, like letting people in and out, he just started talking to me because I was the only one in line. After thinking about it for a long time I realized maybe because no one has been able to get that much social interaction is not that strange for an employee to want to talk to you continuously. Like employees go up to you and stuff but they never initiate the continuation of a conversation when there's clearly places to stop talking. Y'all know? But this guy just kept asking questions, it wasn't weird it was like friendly but still. Asking about holiday shopping and spending money and I responded  politely but it was so awkward and challenging because I couldn't hear a word he was saying because it was loud and we both had masks on and I'm just naturally deaf LOL. Maybe you should've said that deaf but I definitely have here issues. He asked another thing, which I forgot, and I answered but after I answered I started staring off into space awkwardly because he didn't want to continue the conversation. He was looking around like towards his coworker and it just got super awkward. I would've continued the conversation but my dad was like a foot away and that shit was so awkward. He look like he was 20 and I'm like 16. NOOO LMAOOO

While I was I was still at the mall, I went to Ulta beauty and the line was...LONGGGGG. There's like 10 people in front of me TO GEtIN THE STORE. When I picked up my items (skin care😩🤝) there was only like two people online so when I went up to the cash register the lady wasn't like overworked. She was wiping down the counters and we greeted each other. She complemented my sweater and it was just being really nice. Then she signed me up for like their program, keep in mind I don't go to the store a lot but because she was so nice I was like PeiOdd she's gonna  hook me up. I didn't realize the item was going to be $27, while she was ringing me up she was talking about how she uses that same product and how it worked great for her. But after she rang me up and after I gave her my money she was like "you can find a discount online and I could give you a percentage off if you just Google it right now" I was so excited but I didn't have a phone on me so I fake-patted myself down then exposeosed myself. She pulled out her phone and gave me the discount code and I was like WHAT WHAAATTT. Idk I think it's that thing about people not having social interaction for a while so if you're nice and kind to them it's easy for them to reciprocate those feelings. She gave me like seven dollars off and it ended up being $20, shout out to her.🙏🏼💯‼️🥶🔫

It just happened like three days ago. I was thinking of making these entries like talking about my life and stuff but I don't really wanna rush putting everything on paper and forcing myself to recall memories that aren't necessary. I would rather go through events and notice patterns in my life and maybe bring them up in the later entries. I am starting to use that more LOL so I'll probably do this every couple of days but idk this is funny.

12/23/20