So a week after Augustus Waters died I couldn't continue. It was all getting to much. My mom took me to a therapist to "help forget". It only made me think of him more and more. About how I could have stopped him from driving away in his car to get his cigarets. I could have been there sooner. Heaven knows that I won't be around for much longer. I have crated a little barrier of people who can talk to me, so I lower the depression in lives. I only text my parents and talk to my doctor. My mom still believes that I deserve a life. But I don't have a life. I have cancer. I would prefer no life at this point. Many may not know this but before I met Gus... I almost to a kill pill. I've seriously thought about a rope or another pill these past few minutes. And yesterday I almost drove off the rode, but there was a police car in front of me.