WARNING! This story has serious trigger warnings I'm too lazy to warn you at every chapter so ye, if you don't wanna risk it just don't read it. triggers are listed at the top of first chapter. Who wouldn't love his life in a famous boy band? Would be a dream come true right? Yes, yes it is. And as much as Harry Styles loves his fans and his band mates he doesn't love his life, like at all. He doesn't want to live and he definitely does not think he deserves to be alive. He also doesn't know how to deal with feelings. He thinks he is a burden to everyone around him and because of that he shuts them out, spends most of his time alone in his room or locked inside his bathroom. Or well his and Louis' bathroom. You see Harry lives together with his best friend since they met at X-factor, which makes it really hard for Harry to shut him out and it doesn't exactly help he has a crush on the older boy who he is sure doesn't love him at all. This story is probably gonna be fucked up and won't have many reads but ye.