-lobelyYoongi2013-

Hell yeah I’m freaking alive and well ✌

-lobelyYoongi2013-

hello my butterflies,
          
          so Idk I just need to rant a bit and say that today was my first final exam, it went kind of well, only had some sly tricks in the grammar but other than that, it went well...
          
          I want to inform you that, I am worried about my health, it's failing really bad...like the worst kind of bad...
          
          I am gaining extra weight and that is unusual for someone who barely eats...and it's making me both, insecure and worried (I look like a whale rn and this is getting on my nerves) and...I am more worried for my heart and that's where I will be talking  now...
          I feel like my heart is failing...like literally failing, I can't take normal breathe, I even struggle to take one breathe and every time I take one, my heart feels like it's clenching...like someone is holding it and squeezing it and it hurts so much, idk I feel like I am dying, every time I go to sleep, I feel like I won't woke up again and it freaks the  hell out of me..
          
          I am not scared of dying, I just believe in 2 things...firstly God made me to accomplish a mission, and I am not done with this mission yet...secondly, I feel like my life just started, I have never been this happy and in peace for a long time, I am not ready for it to end now,]...I want to happy and euphoric more before I die...I am just... not ready...

GLOWGGUK

@-lobelyYoongi2013- I hope that your health gets better, make sure to get extra sleep and take care of yourself bby. if u need someone to rant to, i'm always here <33
Reply

-lobelyYoongi2013-

I guarantee that a lot of people are in depressing mode these days,,
          
          it's okay though, you have the right to be sad or feel depressed,,
          
          it's only wrong when you decide to let this feeling consume you and eat you up, to be the winner here, you need to learn how to use your feelings as a weapon not as an excuse <3
           #tips_of_the_day

-lobelyYoongi2013-

hello my beautiful colorful butterflies, I hope that you are all doing well...
          so...you know how every now and then I come here to rant and vent whether it's positively or negatively..? well... I'm here to rant now,, but negatively...
          
          So, this semester is short...like...too short.. (only 2 months and half including the exams) and the curriculum (is this even the right word???) is too long....like really long and very hard...like for example, last semester we took only physics and biology,  this semester we are taking 5 units... the first unit has like...4 or 5 lessons of chemistry...second unit with 3 lessons of physics...and the last 2 units are biology...(that's only an example!!)
          AND LET'S NOT FORGET ABOUT THE REST OF SUBJECTS... anyways so today the schedule was announced and my first exam will be 21/5 and is gonna end on 26/5 6 days every day I will get examined in 2 or 3 subjects...but that's not what is irritating or even stressing me... what is REALLY stressing me out and is making me have like 5 breakdowns a day is that the HIGHLEVEL exams is in a week...or actually 6 days...the high level exams is the language exams and lemme tell you...IT'S SO STRESSING TO STUDY 2 LANGUAGES WIT IT'S GRAMMAR AND VOCABULARY AND THE POETRIES AND THE LITERATURE ALL IN 6 DAYS BECAUSE THOSE BUMBASSES CALLED SCHOOL DID NOT AGREE ON A PROPER DAY EARLIER!!!AND YOU KNOW WHAT IS STRESSING MORE??? THAT THEY TOLD US THAT WE WILL BE EXAMINED IN THE CURRICULUM OF THE FIRST AND SECOND SEMESTER TOGETHER...YOU HEAR ME??? IT'S ALREADY STRESSFUL TO BE EXAMINED OF 2 LANGUAGES AND I BARELY GET TO STUDY ALL THE CURRICULUM OF THE SECOND SEMESTER AND NOW THEY ANNOUNCED THE EXAM DATES BEFORE THE EXAMS DAY BY 6 DAYS AND WANT ME TO ACTUALLY STUDY AL OF WHAT I HAVE TAKEN IN 8 MONTHS IN 6 DAYS??? WHAT AM I?? A FREAKING ROBOT...! AND GUESS WHAT! I STILL HAVE ABOUT 7 OR 8 OTHER SUBJECTS TO STUDY!!! THIS IS SO FREAKING STRESSFUL I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING!!!!!!

-lobelyYoongi2013-

hello,
          I just wanted to say that..
          family is not by people, it's the feeling..
          
          For me, I never felt my real family as a family... never felt truly happy with them, never felt comfortable with them... never felt that I am loved among them... which was the reason I was (and still is) depressed (tho I am now in the progress of healing). However, someone introduced me to a worship team (I am high-key Christian that 100% believes in God, however I respect all choices, beliefs and sexualities)
          anyways, even though I have only been with this team only 2 weeks, I feel like I am loved, wanted, and above all, I feel they are my family.. caring about me, loving me, concerned about me, like everything!! they are all group of boys and girls came together to create a family, as If this was my call from God telling me that this is your time here, you belong to this family, I will pay you back for the suffering you have been enduring the past years, and tbh, I never felt this happy in my life, I feel more connected with the world and people!! I am really happy!
          
          oh, also wanted to tell that , me being happy now doesn't mean that I am perfect and my life is unicorn puke now, my parents still abuses me, I still get depression episodes (not a lot now tho), but the only difference now that I have hope now..I believe that whatever God wants for me will happen no matter what, I just have to wait and be patient..  I believe that "thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven" and that's my motto now! <3 I hope you guys that one day you will find your own family... not necessary for it to be as me, maybe in a different way, but I hope you get the same feeling I am getting now <3
          
          thank you for listening to my venting, if u ever want to vent dm me I won't hesitate to answer, if u even want to be friends I am also here <3

GLOWGGUK

@-lobelyYoongi2013- happy for you bestiee  ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡
Reply

-lobelyYoongi2013-

Does anyone know or entered once the HIPPO English Competition?? I am genuinely interested and is thinking to register, please inform me if you have entered once or planning to enter this year, maybe we can meet? :) 
          
          PS: This is an international competition under an ancient thingy in England called the British something, the finals will be held in Rome, Italy... so I am asking if someone knows anything about the details because I want to enter